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<html><body>Phong th&aacute;i n&oacute;i n&#259;ng c&#7911;a ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng uy l&#7921;c, c&ocirc;ng th&agrave;nh&nbsp;1. Nghe nhi&#7873;u n&oacute;i &iacute;tTri&#7871;t gia Epictetus t&#7915;ng n&oacute;i: Ch&uacute;ng ta c&oacute; hai tai v&agrave; m&#7897;t mi&#7879;ng &#273;&#7875; nghe nhi&#7873;u h&#417;n v&agrave; n&oacute;i &iacute;t h&#417;n.&#272;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng &#273;i&#7873;m t&#297;nh l&agrave; ng&#432;&#7901;i th&#7845;u hi&#7875;u ch&acirc;m ng&ocirc;n n&agrave;y h&#417;n ai h&#7871;t.Trong m&#7897;t cu&#7897;c n&oacute;i chuy&#7879;n, anh ta th&#432;&#7901;ng l&#7859;ng l&#7863;ng "&#273;&#7913;ng sau h&#7853;u tr&#432;&#7901;ng" &#273;&#7875; ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;c l&agrave;m t&acirc;m &#273;i&#7875;m, v&agrave; ch&#7881; l&ecirc;n ti&#7871;ng khi th&#7845;y c&#7847;n thi&#7871;t. M&#7897;t c&aacute;ch &#273;&#7875; b&#7841;n l&agrave;m &#273;&#432;&#7907;c nh&#432; v&#7853;y l&agrave; khi tr&ograve; chuy&#7879;n, h&atilde;y t&#7921; nh&#7911; r&#7857;ng c&ograve;n m&#7897;t ng&#432;&#7901;i n&#7919;a m&#7899;i t&#7899;i l&#432;&#7907;t m&igrave;nh n&oacute;i ti&#7871;p.&nbsp;2. &#272;&#7863;t c&acirc;u h&#7887;i &#273;&#7875; ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;c tr&#7843; l&#7901;iL&#7855;ng nghe nh&#432;ng kh&ocirc;ng im thin th&iacute;t, &#273;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng &#273;i&#7873;m t&#297;nh bi&#7871;t h&#7887;i nh&#7919;ng c&acirc;u h&#7887;i th&uacute; v&#7883; &#273;&#7875; cu&#7897;c n&oacute;i chuy&#7879;n &#273;&#432;&#7907;c ti&#7871;p di&#7877;n. Anh ta g&#7907;i m&#7903;, t&#7841;o &#273;i&#7873;u ki&#7879;n &#273;&#7875; ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&#7889;i tho&#7841;i v&#7899;i m&igrave;nh &#273;&#432;&#7907;c b&#7897;c l&#7897; quan &#273;i&#7875;m, suy ngh&#297;, c&#7843;m x&uacute;c.V&iacute; d&#7909;, khi th&#7845;y m&#7897;t ng&#432;&#7901;i quen v&#7915;a &#273;i du l&#7883;ch v&#7873;. Thay v&igrave; n&oacute;i: "T&ocirc;i c&#361;ng t&#7915;ng &#273;&#7871;n n&#417;i &#273;&oacute;. Chuy&#7871;n &#273;i &#273;&oacute; th&#7871; n&agrave;y th&#7871; n&agrave;y", h&atilde;y h&#7887;i: "&#7890;, ch&#7895; &#273;&oacute; sao, vui ch&#7913;?"Nh&#7901; &#273;&#7863;t c&acirc;u h&#7887;i v&agrave; l&#7855;ng nghe, ch&uacute;ng ta s&#7869; c&oacute; th&ecirc;m ki&#7871;n th&#7913;c m&#7899;i ho&#7863;c th&#7845;u hi&#7875;u &#273;&#432;&#7907;c g&oacute;c nh&igrave;n c&#7911;a ng&#432;&#7901;i kia, tr&#432;&#7899;c khi &#273;&#432;a ra b&igrave;nh lu&#7853;n c&#7911;a ri&ecirc;ng m&igrave;nh.&nbsp;3. Suy ngh&#297; k&#7929; tr&#432;&#7899;c khi n&oacute;i&#272;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng &#273;i&#7873;m t&#297;nh th&#432;&#7901;ng ki&#7879;m l&#7901;i, nh&#432;ng m&#7897;t khi &#273;&atilde; ph&aacute;t ng&ocirc;n th&igrave; r&#7845;t &#273;&uacute;ng tr&#7885;ng t&acirc;m v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873;, s&uacute;c t&iacute;ch, &#273;anh th&eacute;p v&agrave; r&otilde; r&agrave;ng. B&#7903;i v&igrave; anh ta lu&ocirc;n "u&#7889;n l&#432;&#7905;i b&#7843;y l&#7847;n tr&#432;&#7899;c khi n&oacute;i", ngh&#297;a l&agrave; lu&ocirc;n bi&#7871;t m&igrave;nh ph&#7843;i n&oacute;i g&igrave; v&agrave; n&ecirc;n n&oacute;i nh&#432; th&#7871; n&agrave;o.&#272;&acirc;y l&agrave; m&#7897;t k&#7929; n&#259;ng kh&ocirc;ng d&#7877; m&agrave; c&oacute; &#273;&#432;&#7907;c. Tr&#432;&#7899;c h&#7871;t, b&#7841;n bu&#7897;c ph&#7843;i th&#7853;t t&#7853;p trung khi tr&ograve; chuy&#7879;n v&agrave; ph&#7843;i n&oacute;i v&#7899;i m&#7897;t t&#7889;c &#273;&#7897; ch&#7853;m r&atilde;i, gi&#7885;ng &#273;i&#7879;u r&otilde; r&agrave;ng.&nbsp;4. Kh&ocirc;ng ng&#7855;t l&#7901;i ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;cNg&#7855;t l&#7901;i ai &#273;&oacute; l&agrave; m&#7897;t h&agrave;nh &#273;&#7897;ng th&ocirc; l&#7895;, b&#7845;t l&#7883;ch s&#7921;. &#272;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng &#273;i&#7873;m t&#297;nh lu&ocirc;n &#273;&#7875; ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;c tr&igrave;nh b&agrave;y tr&#7885;n v&#7865;n &yacute; ki&#7871;n c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh r&#7891;i m&#7899;i l&ecirc;n ti&#7871;ng.N&#7871;u c&#7847;n n&oacute;i ra m&#7897;t vi&#7879;c g&igrave; g&#7845;p, h&#7885; s&#7869; h&#7887;i &yacute; ng&#432;&#7901;i kia tr&#432;&#7899;c.&nbsp;5. N&oacute;i nh&#7887;, kh&ocirc;ng l&ecirc;n gi&#7885;ngN&oacute;i nh&#7865; nh&agrave;ng v&#7899;i &acirc;m l&#432;&#7907;ng v&#7915;a &#273;&#7911; nghe, ngay c&#7843; khi tranh lu&#7853;n.S&#7921; b&#7845;t &#273;&#7891;ng quan &#273;i&#7875;m trong l&uacute;c tr&ograve; chuy&#7879;n c&oacute; th&#7875; khi&#7871;n ch&uacute;ng ta v&ocirc; th&#7913;c n&oacute;i to ti&#7871;ng.Nh&#432;ng m&#7897;t ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng tr&#432;&#7903;ng th&agrave;nh v&agrave; &#273;i&#7873;m t&#297;nh ph&#7843;i bi&#7871;t ki&#7875;m so&aacute;t t&ocirc;ng gi&#7885;ng c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh.&nbsp;6. Kh&ocirc;ng n&#7893;i gi&#7853;nNh&agrave; tri&#7871;t h&#7885;c n&#7893;i ti&#7871;ng Plato &#273;&atilde; t&#7915;ng n&oacute;i: C&oacute; hai th&#7913; m&agrave; ng&#432;&#7901;i ta kh&ocirc;ng n&ecirc;n t&#7913;c gi&#7853;n v&#7873; ch&uacute;ng: c&aacute;i m&agrave; ch&uacute;ng ta c&oacute; th&#7875; thay &#273;&#7893;i v&agrave; c&aacute;i m&agrave; ch&uacute;ng ta kh&ocirc;ng th&#7875; thay &#273;&#7893;i &#273;&#432;&#7907;c.Ch&#7881; c&#7847;n h&agrave;nh &#273;&#7897;ng th&ocirc;i! C&ograve;n n&#7871;u &#273;&atilde; kh&ocirc;ng thay &#273;&#7893;i &#273;&#432;&#7907;c th&igrave; qu&ecirc;n n&oacute; &#273;i l&agrave; xong. Nh&#432; v&#7853;y, suy cho c&ugrave;ng, ch&#7859;ng c&oacute; c&aacute;i g&igrave; &#273;&aacute;ng &#273;&#7875; ta ph&#7843;i t&#7913;c gi&#7853;n c&#7843;. &#272;&uacute;ng v&#7853;y, n&#7871;u thay &#273;&#7893;i &#273;&#432;&#7907;c th&igrave; vi&#7879;c g&igrave; ph&#7843;i t&#7913;c gi&#7853;n?Nh&#432;ng ch&uacute;ng ta l&agrave; con ng&#432;&#7901;i, &#273;&ocirc;i khi gi&#7853;n d&#7919; l&agrave; &#273;i&#7873;u kh&oacute; tr&aacute;nh. N&oacute; c&oacute; th&#7875; l&agrave; c&aacute;ch &#273;&#7875; che &#273;&#7853;y nh&#7919;ng t&#7893;n th&#432;&#417;ng v&agrave; b&#7845;t l&#7921;c c&#7911;a b&#7843;n th&acirc;n, c&oacute; th&#7875; l&agrave; c&aacute;ch m&agrave; m&#7897;t s&#7889; ng&#432;&#7901;i th&ocirc;ng b&aacute;o nhu c&#7847;u c&#7911;a h&#7885;.N&oacute; l&agrave; ph&#432;&#417;ng ti&#7879;n &#273;&#432;a tin t&#7889;t. Tuy nhi&ecirc;n, n&oacute; kh&ocirc;ng gi&uacute;p gi&#7843;i quy&#7871;t v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873;.&nbsp;7. &#272;i&#7873;m t&#297;nh ch&#7913; kh&ocirc;ng nhu nh&#432;&#7907;cS&#7921; &#273;i&#7873;m t&#297;nh tuy&#7879;t &#273;&#7889;i kh&ocirc;ng ph&#7843;i s&#7921; k&igrave;m n&eacute;n hay cam ch&#7883;u.S&#7921; &#273;i&#7873;m t&#297;nh c&#361;ng kh&ocirc;ng ph&#7843;i l&agrave; l&#7849;n tr&aacute;nh xung &#273;&#7897;t m&agrave; l&agrave; b&agrave;y t&#7887;, b&#7843;o v&#7879; ni&#7873;m tin c&#7911;a b&#7843;n th&acirc;n nh&#432;ng v&#7851;n t&ocirc;n tr&#7885;ng nh&acirc;n ph&#7849;m c&#7843;m x&uacute;c c&#7911;a ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;c.Nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;i&#7873;m t&#297;nh lu&ocirc;n c&oacute; thi&#7879;n ch&iacute; &#273;i t&igrave;m gi&#7843;i ph&aacute;p cho v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; thay v&igrave; &#273;&#7893; l&#7895;i hay than tr&aacute;ch.&nbsp;8. Suy ngh&#297; c&#7903;i m&#7903;&#272;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng &#273;i&#7873;m t&#297;nh lu&ocirc;n t&acirc;m ni&#7879;m m&#7897;t &#273;i&#7873;u: Th&#7871; gi&#7899;i n&agrave;y r&#7845;t r&#7897;ng l&#7899;n, c&oacute; nhi&#7873;u &#273;i&#7873;u m&igrave;nh kh&ocirc;ng th&#7875; bi&#7871;t h&#7871;t.Nh&#7919;ng con ng&#432;&#7901;i m&igrave;nh ti&#7871;p x&uacute;c c&#361;ng &#273;a d&#7841;ng, c&oacute; quan &#273;i&#7875;m ri&ecirc;ng v&agrave; c&oacute; cu&#7897;c s&#7889;ng ri&ecirc;ng.Do &#273;&oacute;, thay v&igrave; b&#7855;t m&#7885;i th&#7913; ph&#7843;i theo &yacute; m&igrave;nh, h&atilde;y ch&#7845;p nh&#7853;n s&#7921; kh&aacute;c bi&#7879;t. &#272;&oacute; l&agrave; n&#7873;n t&#7843;ng c&#7911;a m&#7897;t t&iacute;nh c&aacute;ch c&#7903;i m&#7903;.V&agrave; ch&#7881; c&oacute; b&#7855;t &#273;&#7847;u v&#7899;i suy ngh&#297; n&agrave;y, ch&uacute;ng ta m&#7899;i tr&#432;&#7903;ng th&agrave;nh v&agrave; gi&#7887;i giang h&#417;n.&nbsp;9. L&#7845;y &#273;&#7841;i cu&#7897;c l&agrave;m tr&#7885;ng&#272;i&#7873;m t&#297;nh &acirc;u c&#361;ng ch&#7881; l&agrave; m&#7897;t ch&#7885;n l&#7921;a v&#7873; th&aacute;i &#273;&#7897;. S&#7903; d&#297; m&#7897;t s&#7889; ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng ch&#7885;n &#273;i&#7873;m t&#297;nh v&igrave; h&#7885; lu&ocirc;n l&#7845;y &#273;&#7841;i cu&#7897;c l&agrave;m tr&#7885;ng. H&#7885; kh&ocirc;ng v&igrave; m&#7897;t tr&#7853;n c&atilde;i v&atilde; m&agrave; h&#7911;y k&#7871;t b&#7841;n. H&#7885; kh&ocirc;ng &#273;&#7875; nh&#7919;ng m&acirc;u thu&#7851;n trong quan h&#7879; &#273;&#7891;ng nghi&#7879;p &#7843;nh h&#432;&#7903;ng &#273;&#7871;n c&ocirc;ng vi&#7879;c chung. H&#7885; hi&#7875;u gi&aacute; tr&#7883; c&#7911;a m&#7897;t b&#432;&#7899;c l&ugrave;i, c&#7911;a ch&#7919; "nh&#7851;n", c&#7911;a s&#7921; nh&uacute;n nh&#432;&#7901;ng l&agrave; &#273;&#7875; th&#7845;y r&otilde; h&#417;n b&#7913;c tranh t&#7893;ng th&#7875; v&agrave; &#273;&#432;a ra m&#7897;t quy&#7871;t &#273;&#7883;nh s&aacute;ng su&#7889;t cho t&#432;&#417;ng lai.V&agrave; n&#7871;u mu&#7889;n &#273;i&#7873;m t&#297;nh h&#417;n khi giao ti&#7871;p, b&#7841;n c&#361;ng ph&#7843;i th&#7845;y &#273;&#432;&#7907;c "&#273;&#7841;i cu&#7897;c" &#273;i&#7873;u &#273;&oacute; trong m&#7895;i cu&#7897;c n&oacute;i chuy&#7879;n c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh.#l&agrave;m_ch&#7911;_b&#7843;n_th&acirc;n</body></html>

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Phong thái nói năng của người đàn ông uy lực, công thành 1. Nghe nhiều nói ítTriết gia Epictetus từng nói: Chúng ta có hai tai và một miệng để nghe 

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