[PSYCHOHUB] LẦM TƯỞNG VÀ THỰC TẾ VỀ VẤN ĐỀ TỰ SÁT

[PSYCHOHUB] BYSTANDER EFFECT: BÀNG QUAN TRƯỚC MỌI TÌNH HUỐNG NƠI ĐÔNG NGƯỜI

[PSYCHOHUB] MANDELA EFFECT: KHOẢNH KHẮC SỰ THẬT PHƠI BÀY

PSYCHOHUB THUỘC TỔ CHỨC YOUTH+ COMMUNITY THÔNG BÁO TUYỂN THÀNH VIÊN GEN 3.0

&#7902; b&agrave;i &#273;&#259;ng tr&#432;&#7899;c, ch&uacute;ng ta &#273;&atilde; &#273;&#432;&#7907;c t&igrave;m hi&#7875;u v&#7873; ch&uacute;ng ta th&#432;&#7901;ng y&ecirc;u theo nh&#7919;ng ki&#7875;u nh&#432; th&#7871; n&agrave;o, v&#7853;y li&#7879;u c&oacute; bao gi&#7901; ch&uacute;ng ta t&#7921; h&#7887;i r&#7857;ng &#273;i&#7873;u g&igrave; l&agrave;m n&ecirc;n nh&#7919;ng c&aacute;ch chung ta y&ecirc;u nh&#432; v&#7853;y. &#7902; b&agrave;i vi&#7871;t n&agrave;y, h&atilde;y c&ugrave;ng PsychoHub t&igrave;m hi&#7875;u v&#7873; &#7843;nh h&#432;&#7903;ng c&#7911;a ki&#7875;u g&#7855;n b&oacute; th&#7901;i th&#417; &#7845;u &#273;&#7871;n t&igrave;nh y&ecirc;u tr&#432;&#7903;ng th&agrave;nh nh&eacute;! &Iacute;t ai bi&#7871;t r&#7857;ng, h&#7885;c thuy&#7871;t g&#7855;n b&oacute; ch&uacute;ng ta th&#432;&#7901;ng nh&#7855;c &#273;&#7871;n g&#7847;n &#273;&acirc;y c&#7911;a nh&agrave; t&acirc;m l&yacute; h&#7885;c ph&aacute;t tri&#7875;n Mary Ainsworth l&#7841;i b&#7855;t ngu&#7891;n t&#7915; nh&#7919;ng ph&aacute;t hi&#7879;n &#273;&#7847;u ti&ecirc;n c&#7911;a John Bowly (ph&acirc;n t&acirc;m h&#7885;c) v&#7873; c&aacute;c ki&#7875;u g&#7855;n b&oacute;. Nh&igrave;n chung, l&yacute; thuy&#7871;t &#273;&#7873;u ch&#7881; ra t&iacute;nh ch&#7845;t m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; v&#7899;i ng&#432;&#7901;i ch&#259;m s&oacute;c (&#273;&#7863;c bi&#7879;t l&agrave; ng&#432;&#7901;i m&#7865;) t&#7915; thu&#7903; &#7845;u th&#417; &#273;&oacute;ng vai tr&ograve; quan tr&#7885;ng &#273;&#7871;n &#273;&#7863;c th&ugrave; m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; l&atilde;ng m&#7841;n sau n&agrave;y. N&#7871;u ng&#432;&#7901;i m&#7865; thi&#7871;u kh&#7843; n&#259;ng &#273;&aacute;p &#7913;ng nhu c&#7847;u &#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867; s&#7869; d&#7851;n &#273;&#7871;n h&#7879; qu&#7843; t&#7845;t y&#7871;u c&#7911;a m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; thi&#7871;u t&iacute;nh li&ecirc;n k&#7871;t - ph&#7847;n n&agrave;o l&iacute; gi&#7843;i v&igrave; sao b&#7841;n lu&ocirc;n b&#7883; thu h&uacute;t b&#7903;i c&ugrave;ng m&#7897;t ki&#7875;u ng&#432;&#7901;i v&agrave; s&#7921; t&#432;&#417;ng &#273;&#7891;ng v&#7873; b&#7843;n ch&#7845;t c&aacute;c v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; b&#7841;n g&#7863;p ph&#7843;i trong nhi&#7873;u m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; c&aacute; nh&acirc;n.&nbsp; N&oacute;i m&#7897;t c&aacute;ch &#273;&#417;n gi&#7843;n, ng&#432;&#7901;i l&#7899;n ch&uacute;ng ta s&#7869; r&#417;i v&agrave;o m&#7897;t trong hai ki&#7875;u g&#7855;n b&oacute; ch&iacute;nh: An to&agrave;n ho&#7863;c kh&ocirc;ng an to&agrave;n.&nbsp;&#10024;G&#7855;n b&oacute; an to&agrave;n (secure attachment) - ki&#7875;u g&#7855;n b&oacute; l&agrave;nh m&#7841;nh nh&#7845;t. Theo Dana Dorfman, Ti&#7871;n s&#297;, nh&agrave; tr&#7883; li&#7879;u gia &#273;&igrave;nh t&#7841;i NYC v&agrave; &#273;&#7891;ng ch&#7911; tr&igrave; podcast 2 Moms on the Couch l&iacute; gi&#7843;i: G&#7855;n b&oacute; an to&agrave;n h&igrave;nh th&agrave;nh t&#7915; thu&#7903; &#7845;u th&#417;, b&#7845;t k&igrave; khi n&agrave;o &#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867; c&#7847;n &#273;&#432;&#7907;c b&#7843;o v&#7879;, ng&#432;&#7901;i ch&#259;m s&oacute;c lu&ocirc;n &#7903; &#273;&oacute; t&#7841;o kh&ocirc;ng gian v&agrave; c&#7843;m gi&aacute;c an to&agrave;n &#7903; tr&#7867; [1]. B&#7903;i v&#7853;y khi tr&#432;&#7903;ng th&agrave;nh h&#7885; kh&aacute; tho&#7843;i m&aacute;i, g&#7847;n g&#361;i v&#7899;i &#273;&#7889;i ph&#432;&#417;ng, cho &#273;i t&igrave;nh y&ecirc;u, nh&#7853;n l&#7841;i s&#7921; tin c&#7853;y t&#432;&#417;ng &#273;&#7889;i d&#7877; d&agrave;ng [2]&#10024;G&#7855;n b&oacute; kh&ocirc;ng an to&agrave;n (insecure attachment) &#273;&#432;&#7907;c ph&acirc;n ra v&#7899;i 3 c&#7845;p &#273;&#7897;: G&#7855;n b&oacute; lo &acirc;u (anxious), g&#7855;n b&oacute; tr&aacute;nh n&eacute; (avoidant), g&#7855;n b&oacute; lo &acirc;u-tr&aacute;nh n&eacute; (anxious-avoidant)<ul><li>G&#7855;n b&oacute; lo &acirc;u (anxious): Theo b&agrave; Carolina Pataky, LMFT,&nbsp;&#273;&#7891;ng s&aacute;ng l&#7853;p <a href="https://www.lovediscovery.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(2, 131, 141);">Love Discovery Institute</a> t&#7841;i Florida gi&#7843;i th&iacute;ch: Ki&#7875;u ng&#432;&#7901;i n&agrave;y lu&ocirc;n s&#7907; b&#7883; b&#7887; r&#417;i v&igrave; th&#7901;i th&#417; &#7845;u kh&ocirc;ng &#273;&#432;&#7907;c nh&#7853;n &#273;&#7847;y &#273;&#7911; s&#7921; quan t&acirc;m t&#7915; ng&#432;&#7901;i ch&#259;m s&oacute;c, &#273;i&#7875;n h&igrave;nh nh&#7845;t l&agrave; do cha m&#7865; th&#432;&#7901;ng &#273;i c&ocirc;ng t&aacute;c xa nh&agrave;, ho&#7863;c t&#7879; h&#417;n l&agrave; cha m&#7865; li h&ocirc;n, ng&#432;&#7907;c &#273;&atilde;i tr&#7867; hay v&#7853;t l&#7897;n v&#7899;i tr&#7847;m c&#7843;m&hellip; [1] Trong quan h&#7879; y&ecirc;u &#273;&#432;&#417;ng, h&#7885; c&oacute; xu h&#432;&#7899;ng ki&#7875;m so&aacute;t qu&aacute; m&#7913;c [2] &#273;&#7889;i ph&#432;&#417;ng nh&#432; nh&#7855;n tin li&ecirc;n t&#7909;c 24/7, c&oacute; th&#7875; thu h&uacute;t nh&#7919;ng ki&#7875;u ng&#432;&#7901;i tr&aacute;nh n&eacute; (Avoidant) [1].</li><li>G&#7855;n b&oacute; tr&aacute;nh n&eacute; (avoidant): H&#7885; c&#7843;m th&#7845;y m&igrave;nh c&#7847;n &#273;&#432;&#7907;c y&ecirc;u th&#432;&#417;ng nh&#432;ng kh&ocirc;ng s&#7861;n s&agrave;ng cho m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; th&acirc;n m&#7853;t r&agrave;ng bu&#7897;c [2]. Ki&#7875;u ng&#432;&#7901;i n&agrave;y h&#7885;c c&aacute;ch t&#7921; ch&#7911;, &#273;&#7897;c l&#7853;p do ng&#432;&#7901;i ch&#259;m s&oacute;c thi&#7871;u kh&#7843; n&#259;ng &#273;&aacute;p &#7913;ng. Chuy&ecirc;n gia s&#7913;c kh&#7887;e t&acirc;m th&#7847;n Jor-El Caraballo EdM (v&#7873; m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; v&agrave; &#273;&#7891;ng s&aacute;ng l&#7853;p <a href="http://vivawellnessblog.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(2, 131, 141);">Viva Wellness</a>) cho hay: Nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i n&agrave;y kh&ocirc;ng coi tr&#7885;ng c&#7843;m x&uacute;c, k&#7871;t n&#7889;i b&ecirc;n trong, k&#7871;t qu&#7843; d&#7851;n &#273;&#7871;n nh&#7919;ng m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; thi&#7871;u cam k&#7871;t [1]</li><li>G&#7855;n b&oacute; lo &acirc;u-tr&aacute;nh n&eacute; (anxious-avoidant) - t&#7893; h&#7907;p c&#7911;a nh&#7919;ng h&#7841;n ch&#7871; &#273;i&#7875;n h&igrave;nh &#7903; c&#7843; 2 ki&#7875;u ng&#432;&#7901;i n&oacute;i tr&ecirc;n. T&#7915; thu&#7903; &#7845;u th&#417; &#273;&#7871;n l&uacute;c tr&#432;&#7903;ng th&agrave;nh, h&#7885; lu&ocirc;n &#7903; trong m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; c&oacute; &#273;&#7897; b&#7845;t &#273;&#7883;nh cao, th&#7853;m ch&iacute; b&#7883; l&#7841;m d&#7909;ng [1]. H&#7885; lu&ocirc;n trong tr&#7841;ng th&aacute;i m&#7855;c k&#7865;t b&#7903;i mong mu&#7889;n &#273;&#432;&#7907;c y&ecirc;u nh&#432;ng l&#7841;i &ldquo;s&#7907; y&ecirc;u&rdquo; (g&#7855;n b&oacute; tr&aacute;nh n&eacute;) v&agrave; lu&ocirc;n &aacute;m &#7843;nh ng&#7901; v&#7921;c, thi&#7871;u tin t&#432;&#7903;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;c (g&#7855;n b&oacute; lo &acirc;u), d&#7851;n &#273;&#7871;n xung &#273;&#7897;t n&#7897;i t&acirc;m s&acirc;u s&#7855;c l&agrave;m tr&igrave; tr&#7879; m&#7879;t m&#7887;i v&#7873; tinh th&#7847;n. MV &ldquo;Hot and Cold&rdquo; c&#7911;a Katty Perry mi&ecirc;u t&#7843; kh&aacute; ch&iacute;nh x&aacute;c nh&#7919;ng &#273;&#7863;c tr&#432;ng &#273;i&#7875;n h&igrave;nh c&#7911;a ki&#7875;u ng&#432;&#7901;i n&agrave;y.</li></ul> <h4>&#128204;C&oacute; th&#7875; thay &#273;&#7893;i ki&#7875;u g&#7855;n b&oacute; kh&ocirc;ng an to&agrave;n th&agrave;nh an to&agrave;n hay kh&ocirc;ng?</h4>&#272;i&#7873;u n&agrave;y l&agrave; c&oacute; th&#7875; qua s&#7921; d&#7851;n d&#7855;t t&#7915; &#273;&#7889;i ph&#432;&#417;ng thu&#7897;c ki&#7875;u g&#7855;n b&oacute; an to&agrave;n, nh&#432;ng m&#7845;u ch&#7889;t l&agrave; c&aacute;c c&aacute; nh&acirc;n c&#7847;n nh&#7853;n &#273;&#7883;nh ch&iacute;nh x&aacute;c ki&#7875;u g&#7855;n b&oacute; c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh trong m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; &#273;&#7875; x&aacute;c &#273;&#7883;nh &#273;&#7897; &ldquo;t&#432;&#417;ng th&iacute;ch&rdquo; c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh v&#7899;i &#273;&#7889;i ph&#432;&#417;ng. Nh&#7853;n th&#7913;c s&#7899;m &#273;i&#7873;u n&agrave;y ho&agrave;n to&agrave;n c&oacute; l&#7907;i trong m&#7885;i giai &#273;o&#7841;n khi b&#432;&#7899;c v&agrave;o quan h&#7879; l&atilde;ng m&#7841;n [2].<h4> </h4><h4>&#65279;&#128204;S&#7921; th&#7889;ng tr&#7883; ph&#432;&#417;ng ti&#7879;n k&#297; thu&#7853;t s&#7889; - social media, messenger..&nbsp;&#7843;nh h&#432;&#7903;ng th&#7871; n&agrave;o &#273;&#7871;n ki&#7875;u g&#7855;n b&oacute; v&agrave; t&iacute;nh ch&#7845;t m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; y&ecirc;u &#273;&#432;&#417;ng?</h4>C&aacute;c ph&#432;&#417;ng ti&#7879;n k&#297; thu&#7853;t s&#7889; ng&agrave;y nay - c&ocirc;ng c&#7909; h&#7919;u &iacute;ch mang &#273;&#7871;n c&#7843;m gi&aacute;c an to&agrave;n v&#7873; s&#7921; hi&#7879;n di&#7879;n c&#7911;a &#273;&#7889;i ph&#432;&#417;ng. Cha m&#7865; c&ocirc;ng t&aacute;c xa nh&agrave; d&#7877; d&agrave;ng k&#7871;t n&#7889;i, c&#7911;ng c&#7889; ki&#7875;u g&#7855;n b&oacute; an to&agrave;n con c&aacute;i m&igrave;nh, t&#432;&#417;ng t&#7921;, ch&uacute;ng ta c&oacute; th&#7875; duy tr&igrave; li&ecirc;n l&#7841;c b&#7873;n ch&#7863;t v&#7899;i ng&#432;&#7901;i y&ecirc;u, &#273;&aacute;p &#7913;ng nhu c&#7847;u an to&agrave;n v&agrave; &#273;&#432;&#7907;c quan t&acirc;m, b&#7845;t ch&#7845;p kho&#7843;ng c&#7843;nh v&#7873; &#273;&#7883;a l&yacute; [2]. B&agrave;i vi&#7871;t &#273;&#432;&#7907;c bi&ecirc;n t&#7853;p, ch&#7881;nh s&#7917;a d&#7921;a theo ngu&#7891;n:[1] Kassel, G. (2020, June 23). Attachment Theory Plays a Role in Relationships &mdash; Here&rsquo;s What That Means for You. Healthline. <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/relationships/attachment-theory#anxious-avoidant" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank" style="color: rgb(17, 85, 204); background-color: transparent;">https://www.healthline.com/health/relationships/attachment-theory#anxious-avoidant</a>[2] How Attachment Styles Influence Romantic Relationships. (2022, February 9). Columbia University Department of Psychiatry. <a href="https://www.columbiapsychiatry.org/news/how-attachment-styles-influence-romantic-relationships" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank" style="color: rgb(17, 85, 204); background-color: transparent;">https://www.columbiapsychiatry.org/news/how-attachment-styles-influence-romantic-relationships</a>&nbsp;______________________________________PsychoHub - D&#7921; &aacute;n T&acirc;m l&yacute; h&#7885;c thu&#7897;c T&#7893; ch&#7913;c Youth+ CommunityFanpage: https://www.facebook.com/PsychoHub.Project/Email: youth.psychohub@gmail.com

PsychoHub

Ở bài đăng trước, chúng ta đã được tìm hiểu về chúng ta thường yêu theo những kiểu như thế nào, vậy liệu có bao giờ chúng ta tự hỏi 

[PSYCHOHUB] GẮN BÓ THỜI THƠ ẤU VÀ TÌNH YÊU KHI TRƯỞNG THÀNH

Tận dụng thời gian giãn cách xã hội để phát triển bản thân cùng VYGS 2021, tại sao không ⁉️

LÀM THẾ NÀO ĐỂ HIỂU BẢN THÂN HƠN?

[ONLINE] Genius Vietnam Agency Tuyển Dụng

[Hà Lan] Học Bổng Toàn Phần Eric Bleumink Bậc Thạc Sĩ Tại Đại Học Groningen 2022