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[PSYCHOHUB] SELF-COMPASSION: TH&Ecirc;M M&#7896;T C&Aacute;CH &#272;&#7874; Y&Ecirc;U TH&#431;&#416;NG CH&Iacute;NH M&Igrave;NH (PART 1)Con ng&#432;&#7901;i l&agrave; sinh v&#7853;t duy nh&#7845;t c&oacute; th&#7875; t&#7921; l&agrave;m kh&#7893; m&igrave;nh. C&aacute;c lo&agrave;i &#273;&#7897;ng v&#7853;t kh&aacute;c ch&#7855;c ch&#7855;n &#273;au kh&#7893; khi ch&uacute;ng tr&#7843;i qua nh&#7919;ng s&#7921; ki&#7879;n ti&ecirc;u c&#7921;c, nh&#432;ng ch&#7881; con ng&#432;&#7901;i m&#7899;i c&oacute; th&#7875; t&#7841;o ra c&#7843;m x&uacute;c ti&ecirc;u c&#7921;c th&ocirc;ng qua quan &#273;i&#7875;m, ph&aacute;n x&eacute;t, k&#7923; v&#7885;ng, h&#7889;i ti&#7871;c v&agrave; so s&aacute;nh c&#7911;a b&#7843;n th&acirc;n v&#7899;i ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;c. B&#7903;i v&igrave; t&#7921; suy ngh&#297; &#273;&oacute;ng m&#7897;t vai tr&ograve; trung t&acirc;m trong h&#7841;nh ph&uacute;c v&agrave; an sinh c&#7911;a con ng&#432;&#7901;i, c&aacute;c nh&agrave; t&acirc;m l&yacute; h&#7885;c &#273;&atilde; d&agrave;nh r&#7845;t nhi&#7873;u s&#7921; ch&uacute; &yacute; &#273;&#7875; t&igrave;m hi&#7875;u c&aacute;ch m&#7885;i ng&#432;&#7901;i ngh&#297; g&igrave; v&#7873; b&#7843;n th&acirc;n h&#7885;.Trong nhi&#7873;u n&#259;m, c&aacute;c chuy&ecirc;n gia &#273;&atilde; t&#7853;p trung v&agrave;o l&ograve;ng t&#7921; tr&#7885;ng. Nghi&ecirc;n c&#7913;u &#273;&atilde; li&ecirc;n t&#7909;c ch&#7881; ra r&#7857;ng l&ograve;ng t&#7921; tr&#7885;ng c&oacute; li&ecirc;n quan &#273;&#7871;n s&#7913;c kh&#7887;e t&acirc;m l&yacute;, r&#7857;ng h&igrave;nh &#7843;nh b&#7843;n th&acirc;n t&iacute;ch c&#7921;c l&agrave; m&#7897;t th&agrave;nh ph&#7847;n quan tr&#7885;ng trong c&ocirc;ng th&#7913;c c&#7911;a m&#7897;t cu&#7897;c s&#7889;ng h&#7841;nh ph&uacute;c v&agrave; th&agrave;nh c&ocirc;ng. Nh&igrave;n th&#7845;y m&#7889;i li&ecirc;n h&#7879; gi&#7919;a l&ograve;ng t&#7921; tr&#7885;ng v&agrave; m&#7897;t lo&#7841;t c&aacute;c k&#7871;t qu&#7843; c&#7911;a cu&#7897;c s&#7889;ng &#273;&aacute;ng m&#417; &#432;&#7899;c, nhi&#7873;u b&#7853;c cha m&#7865; &#273;&atilde; l&ugrave;i l&#7841;i ph&iacute;a sau &#273;&#7875; &#273;&#7843;m b&#7843;o r&#7857;ng con h&#7885; c&oacute; quan &#273;i&#7875;m t&iacute;ch c&#7921;c v&#7873; b&#7843;n th&acirc;n, gi&aacute;o vi&ecirc;n &#273;&atilde; c&#7889; g&#7855;ng cung c&#7845;p ph&#7843;n h&#7891;i theo c&aacute;ch &#273;&#7875; b&#7843;o v&#7879; l&ograve;ng t&#7921; tr&#7885;ng c&#7911;a h&#7885;c sinh, v&agrave; nhi&#7873;u ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&atilde; &#273;&#432;&#7907;c thuy&#7871;t ph&#7909;c r&#7857;ng l&ograve;ng t&#7921; tr&#7885;ng c&#7847;n &#273;&#432;&#7907;c qu&#7843;ng b&aacute; r&#7897;ng r&atilde;i nh&#432; m&#7897;t ph&#432;&#417;ng thu&#7889;c cho c&aacute;c v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; c&aacute; nh&acirc;n v&agrave; t&#7879; n&#7841;n x&atilde; h&#7897;i. D&#7845;u &#7845;n cao &#273;&#7897; c&#7911;a phong tr&agrave;o t&#7921; tr&#7885;ng x&#7843;y ra v&agrave;o nh&#7919;ng n&#259;m 1980 khi Qu&#7889;c h&#7897;i Ti&#7875;u bang California cho ph&eacute;p t&agrave;i tr&#7907; &#273;&#7875; n&acirc;ng cao l&ograve;ng t&#7921; tr&#7885;ng c&#7911;a c&ocirc;ng d&acirc;n, v&#7899;i m&#7909;c ti&ecirc;u cao c&#7843; l&agrave; gi&#7843;i quy&#7871;t c&aacute;c v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; nh&#432; l&#7841;m d&#7909;ng tr&#7867; em, t&#7897;i ph&#7841;m, nghi&#7879;n ng&#7853;p, mang thai ngo&agrave;i &yacute; mu&#7889;n v&agrave; vi&#7879;c ph&#7909; thu&#7897;c v&agrave;o ph&uacute;c l&#7907;i. M&#7897;t s&#7889; nh&agrave; l&#7853;p ph&aacute;p th&#7853;m ch&iacute; c&ograve;n hy v&#7885;ng r&#7857;ng, nh&#432; m&#7897;t l&#7907;i &iacute;ch ph&#7909;, vi&#7879;c n&acirc;ng cao l&ograve;ng t&#7921; tr&#7885;ng s&#7869; n&acirc;ng cao n&#7873;n kinh t&#7871; c&#7911;a bang.&#7902; m&#7897;t c&#7845;p &#273;&#7897; n&agrave;o &#273;&oacute;, s&#7921; nh&#7845;n m&#7841;nh v&#7873; l&ograve;ng t&#7921; tr&#7885;ng n&agrave;y d&#432;&#7901;ng nh&#432; l&agrave; c&oacute; c&#417; s&#7903;. Nghi&ecirc;n c&#7913;u t&acirc;m l&yacute; cho th&#7845;y r&#7857;ng th&agrave;nh c&ocirc;ng v&agrave; h&#7841;nh ph&uacute;c c&oacute; li&ecirc;n quan &#273;&#7871;n l&ograve;ng t&#7921; tr&#7885;ng cao, v&agrave; nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i c&oacute; l&ograve;ng t&#7921; tr&#7885;ng th&#7845;p h&#417;n ph&#7843;i ch&#7883;u c&aacute;c v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; c&#7843;m x&uacute;c v&agrave; h&agrave;nh vi. Tuy nhi&ecirc;n, l&ograve;ng t&#7921; tr&#7885;ng &#273;&atilde; kh&ocirc;ng t&#7891;n t&#7841;i &#273;&uacute;ng nh&#432; gi&aacute; tr&#7883; c&#7911;a n&oacute;. Kh&ocirc;ng ch&#7881; c&aacute;c m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; gi&#7919;a l&ograve;ng t&#7921; tr&#7885;ng v&agrave; k&#7871;t qu&#7843; c&oacute; t&iacute;nh t&iacute;ch c&#7921;c y&#7871;u h&#417;n nhi&#7873;u ng&#432;&#7901;i ngh&#297;, m&agrave; khi xem x&eacute;t k&#7929; h&#417;n, c&aacute;c b&#7857;ng ch&#7913;ng cho th&#7845;y l&ograve;ng t&#7921; tr&#7885;ng d&#432;&#7901;ng nh&#432; l&agrave; k&#7871;t qu&#7843; c&#7911;a s&#7921; th&agrave;nh c&ocirc;ng v&agrave; h&#7841;nh ph&uacute;c ch&#7913; kh&ocirc;ng ph&#7843;i l&agrave; nguy&ecirc;n nh&acirc;n d&#7851;n &#273;&#7871;n ch&uacute;ng. M&#7863;c d&ugrave; &#273;&atilde; c&oacute; h&agrave;ng ng&agrave;n nghi&ecirc;n c&#7913;u ch&#7913;ng minh r&#7857;ng l&ograve;ng t&#7921; tr&#7885;ng cao c&oacute; li&ecirc;n quan &#273;&#7871;n nhi&#7873;u &#273;i&#7873;u t&#7889;t &#273;&#7865;p, nh&#432;ng h&#7847;u nh&#432; kh&ocirc;ng c&oacute; b&#7857;ng ch&#7913;ng n&agrave;o cho th&#7845;y l&ograve;ng t&#7921; tr&#7885;ng th&#7921;c s&#7921; t&#7841;o ra th&agrave;nh c&ocirc;ng, h&#7841;nh ph&uacute;c ho&#7863;c c&aacute;c k&#7871;t qu&#7843; mong mu&#7889;n kh&aacute;c.B&#7845;t ch&#7845;p s&#7921; th&#7845;t b&#7841;i c&#7911;a phong tr&agrave;o t&#7921; &#273;&aacute;nh gi&aacute; b&#7843;n th&acirc;n, kh&ocirc;ng ai c&oacute; th&#7875; nghi ng&#7901; r&#7857;ng m&#7897;t s&#7889; c&aacute;ch ngh&#297; v&#7873; b&#7843;n th&acirc;n c&oacute; l&#7907;i h&#417;n nh&#7919;ng c&aacute;ch kh&aacute;c. T&#7845;t c&#7843; ch&uacute;ng ta &#273;&#7873;u bi&#7871;t nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i t&#7841;o ra r&#7845;t nhi&#7873;u b&#7845;t h&#7841;nh cho b&#7843;n th&acirc;n h&#7885; ch&#7881; &#273;&#417;n gi&#7843;n b&#7857;ng c&aacute;ch h&#7885; suy ngh&#297; v&agrave; ph&#7843;n &#7913;ng v&#7899;i nh&#7919;ng s&#7921; ki&#7879;n trong cu&#7897;c s&#7889;ng c&#7911;a h&#7885;. Nhi&#7873;u ng&#432;&#7901;i t&#7921; th&uacute;c &eacute;p b&#7843;n th&acirc;n ph&#7843;i &#273;&aacute;p &#7913;ng nh&#7919;ng k&#7923; v&#7885;ng v&ocirc; l&yacute; c&#7911;a ch&iacute;nh h&#7885;, t&#7921; tr&aacute;ch m&igrave;nh v&igrave; nh&#7919;ng th&#7845;t b&#7841;i, v&agrave; kh&oacute; kh&#259;n m&agrave; h&#7885; g&#7863;p ph&#7843;i. Theo m&#7897;t c&aacute;ch k&#7923; l&#7841;, nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i n&agrave;y kh&aacute; &aacute;c &yacute; v&#7899;i ch&iacute;nh b&#7843;n th&acirc;n m&igrave;nh, &#273;&#7889;i x&#7917; v&#7899;i b&#7843;n th&acirc;n kh&#7855;c nghi&#7879;t h&#417;n nhi&#7873;u so v&#7899;i &#273;&#7889;i x&#7917; v&#7899;i ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;c. Tuy nhi&ecirc;n, t&#7845;t c&#7843; ch&uacute;ng ta &#273;&#7873;u bi&#7871;t nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i c&oacute; c&aacute;ch ti&#7871;p c&#7853;n t&#7917; t&#7871; v&agrave; d&#7883;u d&agrave;ng h&#417;n v&#7899;i b&#7843;n th&acirc;n, h&#7885; c&oacute; th&#7875; kh&ocirc;ng ph&#7843;i l&uacute;c n&agrave;o c&#361;ng h&agrave;i l&ograve;ng v&#7899;i b&#7843;n th&acirc;n, nh&#432;ng h&#7885; ch&#7845;p nh&#7853;n s&#7921; th&#7853;t r&#7857;ng ai c&#361;ng c&oacute; nh&#7919;ng khuy&#7871;t &#273;i&#7875;m v&agrave; v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873;.Hai ph&#7843;n &#7913;ng tr&ecirc;n &#273;&#7889;i v&#7899;i nh&#7919;ng thi&#7871;u s&oacute;t, th&#7845;t b&#7841;i v&agrave; c&aacute;c v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; c&oacute; th&#7875; ph&#7843;n &aacute;nh s&#7921; kh&aacute;c bi&#7879;t v&#7873; l&ograve;ng t&#7921; tr&#7885;ng, nh&#432;ng tr&ecirc;n th&#7921;c t&#7871;, s&#7921; kh&aacute;c bi&#7879;t ch&iacute;nh kh&ocirc;ng li&ecirc;n quan &#273;&#7871;n l&ograve;ng t&#7921; tr&#7885;ng m&agrave; l&agrave; l&ograve;ng t&#7915; bi. C&oacute; ngh&#297;a l&agrave;, s&#7921; kh&aacute;c bi&#7879;t kh&ocirc;ng n&#7857;m &#7903; c&aacute;ch m&#7885;i ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&aacute;nh gi&aacute; b&#7843;n th&acirc;n (l&ograve;ng t&#7921; tr&#7885;ng c&#7911;a h&#7885;) m&agrave; n&#7857;m &#7903; c&aacute;ch h&#7885; &#273;&#7889;i x&#7917; v&#7899;i b&#7843;n th&acirc;n (l&ograve;ng tr&#7855;c &#7849;n c&#7911;a h&#7885;). V&agrave;, h&oacute;a ra, c&aacute;i sau d&#432;&#7901;ng nh&#432; quan tr&#7885;ng h&#417;n nhi&#7873;u &#273;&#7889;i v&#7899;i s&#7913;c kh&#7887;e so v&#7899;i c&aacute;i tr&#432;&#7899;c. T&#7845;t nhi&ecirc;n, m&#7885;i ng&#432;&#7901;i th&iacute;ch &#273;&aacute;nh gi&aacute; b&#7843;n th&acirc;n c&oacute; l&#7907;i h&#417;n l&agrave; kh&ocirc;ng c&oacute; l&#7907;i, nh&#432;ng l&ograve;ng t&#7915; bi c&oacute; s&#7913;c &#7843;nh h&#432;&#7903;ng &#273;&#7871;n c&#7843;m x&uacute;c v&agrave; h&agrave;nh vi c&#7911;a con ng&#432;&#7901;i theo nh&#7919;ng c&aacute;ch m&agrave; l&ograve;ng t&#7921; tr&#7885;ng kh&ocirc;ng c&oacute;.&#272;&#7875; c&oacute; th&#7875; hi&#7875;u &yacute; ngh&#297;a c&#7911;a l&ograve;ng t&#7915; bi v&#7899;i b&#7843;n th&acirc;n (self-compassion), h&atilde;y suy ngh&#297; v&#7873; &yacute; ngh&#297;a c&#7911;a vi&#7879;c &#273;&#7889;i x&#7917; t&#7915; bi v&#7899;i ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;c, v&agrave; sau &#273;&oacute; chuy&#7875;n h&#432;&#7899;ng &#273;&oacute; v&#7873; ph&iacute;a b&#7843;n th&acirc;n. C&#361;ng gi&#7889;ng nh&#432; l&ograve;ng t&#7915; bi bao h&agrave;m mong mu&#7889;n gi&#7843;m thi&#7875;u &#273;au kh&#7893; c&#7911;a ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;c, l&ograve;ng t&#7921; t&#7915; bi ph&#7843;n &aacute;nh mong mu&#7889;n gi&#7843;m thi&#7875;u &#273;au kh&#7893; c&#7911;a b&#7843;n th&acirc;n v&agrave; quan tr&#7885;ng l&agrave; tr&aacute;nh t&#7841;o ra b&#7845;t h&#7841;nh v&agrave; &#273;au kh&#7893; kh&ocirc;ng c&#7847;n thi&#7871;t cho ch&iacute;nh m&igrave;nh. Nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i gi&agrave;u l&ograve;ng nh&acirc;n &aacute;i v&#7899;i ch&iacute;nh m&igrave;nh &#273;&#7889;i x&#7917; v&#7899;i b&#7843;n th&acirc;n &#273;&#7847;y s&#7921; quan t&acirc;m, t&#7917; t&#7871; v&agrave; h&#7895; tr&#7907; gi&#7889;ng nh&#432; nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i c&oacute; l&ograve;ng nh&acirc;n &aacute;i v&#7899;i m&#7885;i ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&#7889;i x&#7917; v&#7899;i b&#7841;n b&egrave; v&agrave; gia &#273;&igrave;nh c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh khi nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i &#7845;y g&#7863;p kh&oacute; kh&#259;n. Khi g&#7863;p ph&#7843;i c&aacute;c v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; trong cu&#7897;c s&#7889;ng, nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i gi&agrave;u l&ograve;ng tr&#7855;c &#7849;n v&#7899;i ch&iacute;nh m&igrave;nh s&#7869; &#273;&#7889;i m&#7863;t v&#7899;i ch&uacute;ng b&#7857;ng s&#7921; &#7845;m &aacute;p v&agrave; quan t&acirc;m h&#417;n l&agrave; s&#7921; t&#7921; ph&aacute;n x&eacute;t v&agrave; t&#7921; ph&ecirc; b&igrave;nh. Cho d&ugrave; v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; &#273;&oacute; l&agrave; k&#7871;t qu&#7843; c&#7911;a s&#7921; k&eacute;m c&#7887;i, ngu ng&#7889;c hay thi&#7871;u t&#7921; ch&#7911; c&#7911;a h&#7885;, hay k&#7875; c&#7843; v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; &#273;&oacute; x&#7843;y ra kh&ocirc;ng ph&#7843;i do l&#7895;i c&#7911;a h&#7885;, nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i gi&agrave;u l&ograve;ng t&#7921; tr&#7855;c &#7849;n nh&#7853;n ra r&#7857;ng kh&oacute; kh&#259;n l&agrave; m&#7897;t ph&#7847;n b&igrave;nh th&#432;&#7901;ng c&#7911;a cu&#7897;c s&#7889;ng. K&#7871;t qu&#7843; l&agrave;, h&#7885; ti&#7871;p c&#7853;n v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh m&#7897;t c&aacute;ch b&igrave;nh t&#297;nh, kh&ocirc;ng h&#7841; th&#7845;p m&#7913;c &#273;&#7897; nghi&ecirc;m trong c&#7911;a th&#7917; th&aacute;ch c&#361;ng nh&#432; kh&ocirc;ng b&#7883; nh&#7919;ng suy ngh&#297; v&agrave; c&#7843;m x&uacute;c ti&ecirc;u c&#7921;c l&#7845;n &aacute;t.L&#432;u &yacute;: Self-Compassion &#273;&#432;&#7907;c t&#7841;m d&#7883;ch l&agrave; L&ograve;ng t&#7921; t&#7915; bi/ t&#7921; tr&#7855;c &#7849;nNgu&#7891;n d&#7883;ch: Mark Leary (Author), Pam Weintraub (Editor) (2016), Don&rsquo;t beat yourself up: Learning to be kind to yourself when you (inevitably) make mistakes could have a remarkable effect on your happiness, <a href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Faeon.co%2Fessays%2Flearning-to-be-kind-to-yourself-has-remarkable-benefits%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR0bjr0kPFookWdnZqX9RPoGrvGqDJ-zN-d9oJwh3EvG-tOi8Go1FqBkHm8&amp;h=AT3SHrBxF0weEARjK2fM0YQxdaoIx6v1r_rp7wF6QKiFYDXUpBSC_XgPoq3qhXkuj939uqlw9U3pLxoxv3CgVP2bxRDfWgmlaHF6CpmsoXcU-4I0o96rvnz3teRlmzSn9zeW&amp;__tn__=-UK-R&amp;c%5B0%5D=AT12t3_BaB6LKaW766v8wOSAGrKOP_tcEfSe9oa1cUEMy-ALZSJFWhZwTuHUwgTmN2CVvElhoZd2TrJzrmDFz-pq3f0-TKW7HTpbUB6D03hHETY-5XV7cQT785dcRILL5w_ft8vcrQpYl0Civ-xDzfmW8iabv254Rqw2xp4q2Sb5iIBzFdgvq2RR3NUbiIEtt7MRcJ0m3tC9nA">https://aeon.co/.../learning-to-be-kind-to-yourself-has...</a>______________________________________PsychoHub - D&#7921; &aacute;n T&acirc;m l&yacute; h&#7885;c thu&#7897;c Youth+ CommunityFanpage:<a href="https://www.facebook.com/PsychoHub.Project/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWd1lWNbkNSX1q_QFX9pR83RgHsGVS-vrlDJdBliZ9G683827uO3lzQDVER0aYYppoq2YDX3xsGkxI3cyNgnmNepyZ9C3Ouh6zLifC8u2GHI0agiazlkSBOstbgwRPpx_2Mw_Y2Qwb10VCTq7qTq19gCG2kW64xTWtDpVUk0BHKk4WBfCnQFMQ1lE4JDxL_7f4&amp;__tn__=kK-R">https://www.facebook.com/PsychoHub.Project/</a>Email: youth.psychohub@gmail.com&nbsp;&nbsp;

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