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&nbsp;S&#7921; th&#7853;t l&agrave; t&#7845;t c&#7843; nh&#7919;ng &#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867; &#273;&#432;&#7907;c sinh ra tr&ecirc;n th&#7871; gi&#7899;i n&agrave;y &#273;&#7873;u ho&agrave;n to&agrave;n ph&#7909; thu&#7897;c v&agrave;o s&#7921; nh&acirc;n t&#7915; c&#7911;a ng&#432;&#7901;i l&#7899;n. M&#7897;t &#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867; s&#417; sinh th&igrave; kh&ocirc;ng c&oacute; &#273;&#7911; s&#7913;c m&#7841;nh hay tr&iacute; tu&#7879; &#273;&#7875; c&oacute; th&#7875; ph&agrave;n n&agrave;n hay tranh bi&#7879;n cho b&#7843;n th&acirc;n, s&#7921; s&#7889;ng c&#7911;a ch&uacute;ng &#273;&#417;n gi&#7843;n ph&#7909; thu&#7897;c v&agrave;o kh&#7843; n&#259;ng nh&igrave;n l&ecirc;n t&#7915; c&#361;i v&#7899;i &#273;&ocirc;i m&#7855;t ng&acirc;y th&#417; v&agrave; c&#7889; g&#7855;ng khi&#7871;n cha m&#7865; m&#7911;i l&ograve;ng v&agrave; ch&#259;m s&oacute;c cho ch&uacute;ng. T&#7845;t c&#7843; kh&#7843; n&#259;ng c&#7911;a m&#7897;t &#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867; l&agrave; l&ocirc;i cu&#7889;n t&igrave;nh y&ecirc;u c&#7911;a m&#7885;i ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&#7875; &#273;&#7843;m b&#7843;o &#273;&#432;&#7907;c &#259;n, m&#7863;c v&agrave; b&#7843;o v&#7879;.&#272;&#7875; &#273;&#7893;i l&#7845;y s&#7921; nu&ocirc;i d&#432;&#7905;ng n&agrave;y, tr&#7867; nh&#7887; s&#7861;n s&agrave;ng d&agrave;nh cho cha m&#7865; ho&#7863;c ng&#432;&#7901;i ch&#259;m s&oacute;c s&#7921; ng&#432;&#7905;ng m&#7897; v&ocirc; &#273;i&#7873;u ki&#7879;n. Ch&uacute;ng b&#7849;m sinh y&ecirc;u m&#7871;n v&agrave; c&oacute; &#7845;n t&#432;&#7907;ng s&acirc;u s&#7855;c &#273;&#7889;i v&#7899;i ng&#432;&#7901;i b&#7871; b&#7891;ng, t&#7855;m r&#7917;a, h&acirc;m s&#7919;a v&agrave; thay t&atilde; cho m&igrave;nh. Ch&uacute;ng v&ocirc; c&ugrave;ng t&ocirc;n tr&#7885;ng nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&#7893;ng l&#7891; bi&#7871;t b&#7853;t m&aacute;y gi&#7863;t v&agrave; &#273;&aacute; b&oacute;ng qua c&acirc;y. &#7902; giai &#273;o&#7841;n n&agrave;y, &#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867; kh&ocirc;ng c&oacute; b&#7845;t c&#7913; th&#7855;c m&#7855;c hay s&#7921; nghi ng&#7901; n&agrave;o cho nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i b&#7873; tr&ecirc;n c&#7911;a ch&uacute;ng.<figure class="image image-style-side"><img src="/upload/files/3e9e283d-d34e-4aa3-b02e-4766df46a068_rw_1920(1).jpg"></figure>Gi&#7843; s&#7917; trong t&igrave;nh hu&#7889;ng nguy hi&#7875;m, b&#7843;n n&#259;ng c&#7911;a tr&#7867; nh&#7887; c&#7921;c k&#7923; nh&#7841;y c&#7843;m trong vi&#7879;c c&#7889; g&#7855;ng khi&#7871;n nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i b&#7843;o v&#7879; m&agrave; ch&uacute;ng ng&#432;&#7905;ng m&#7897; &#273;&#7913;ng v&#7873; ph&iacute;a m&igrave;nh. N&#7871;u &#273;&atilde; c&#7843;m nh&#7853;n &#273;&#432;&#7907;c r&#7857;ng b&#7843;n th&acirc;n &#273;ang &#273;&#432;&#7907;c y&ecirc;u th&#432;&#417;ng, &#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867; c&oacute; th&#7875; th&#432; gi&atilde;n v&agrave; th&#7921;c hi&#7879;n c&aacute;i &#432;u ti&ecirc;n s&#417; sinh kh&aacute;c: t&#7853;p &#259;n, t&#7853;p n&oacute;i v&agrave; l&agrave;m quen v&#7899;i m&ocirc;i tr&#432;&#7901;ng.Nh&#432;ng n&#7871;u y&ecirc;u th&#432;&#417;ng l&agrave; th&#7913; m&agrave; &#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867; h&#7841;n ch&#7871; nh&#7853;n &#273;&#432;&#7907;c, qu&aacute; tr&igrave;nh tr&#432;&#7903;ng th&agrave;nh s&#7869; ph&#7913;c t&#7841;p h&#417;n nhi&#7873;u. V&igrave; nhi&#7873;u l&yacute; do, c&oacute; nh&#7919;ng b&#7853;c ph&#7909; huynh &#273;&atilde; kh&ocirc;ng ho&agrave;n th&agrave;nh vai tr&ograve; c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh. H&#7885; &#273;&#7875; m&#7863;c con m&igrave;nh kh&oacute;c l&oacute;c, qu&aacute;t th&aacute;o v&agrave;o m&#7863;t nhau, c&oacute; th&#7875; bao g&#7891;m c&#7843; b&#7841;o l&#7921;c th&#7875; ch&#7845;t v&agrave; kh&#7911;ng b&#7889; tinh th&#7847;n &#273;&#7889;i ph&#432;&#417;ng. Theo b&#7843;n n&#259;ng, &#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867; bi&#7871;t n&oacute; &#273;ang g&#7863;p nguy hi&#7875;m nghi&ecirc;m tr&#7885;ng v&agrave; n&#7871;u t&igrave;nh h&igrave;nh kh&ocirc;ng &#273;&#432;&#7907;c kh&#7855;c ph&#7909;c, tr&#432;&#7901;ng h&#7907;p t&#7891;i t&#7879; nh&#7845;t l&agrave; &#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867; s&#7869; b&#7883; b&#7887; r&#417;i.Trong tr&#432;&#7901;ng h&#7907;p &#7845;y, sinh l&yacute; tr&#7867; con s&#7869; t&#7921; kh&#7903;i &#273;&#7897;ng m&#7897;t c&#417; ch&#7871;. &#272;&#7913;a tr&#7867; b&#7855;t &#273;&#7847;u n&#7895; l&#7921;c nhi&#7873;u h&#417;n. N&oacute; c&#7889; t&#7887; ra thu h&uacute;t, l&agrave;m nh&#7919;ng g&igrave; c&oacute; th&#7875;, c&#432;&#7901;i v&agrave; l&#7845;y l&ograve;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i l&#7899;n. &#272;&#7875; gi&#7843;i th&iacute;ch cho s&#7921; th&#7901; &#417; c&#7911;a cha m&#7865;, &#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867; t&#7921; h&#7887;i v&agrave; t&igrave;m ki&#7871;m c&acirc;u tr&#7843; l&#7901;i t&#7915; ch&iacute;nh b&#7843;n th&acirc;n r&#7857;ng n&oacute; &#273;&atilde; l&agrave;m sai &#273;i&#7873;u g&igrave;.&#272;&#7891;ng th&#7901;i, nh&#432; m&#7897;t &#273;&#7897;ng th&aacute;i hi&#7875;n nhi&ecirc;n d&#432;&#7899;i g&oacute;c nh&igrave;n c&#7911;a ng&#432;&#7901;i tr&#432;&#7903;ng th&agrave;nh, &#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867; ph&#7843;i c&#432;&#7905;ng l&#7841;i c&#7843;m gi&aacute;c kh&oacute; ch&#7883;u v&agrave; mu&#7889;n &#273;&#7893; l&#7895;i cho nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i l&#7899;n &#7903; xung quanh r&#7857;ng h&#7885; &#273;&atilde; kh&ocirc;ng ch&#259;m s&oacute;c n&oacute; theo c&aacute;ch m&agrave; &#273;&aacute;ng l&#7869; ra n&ecirc;n l&agrave;m. Tuy nhi&ecirc;n, nh&#7919;ng suy ngh&#297; t&aacute;o b&#7841;o nh&#432; v&#7853;y th&igrave; kh&ocirc;ng thu&#7897;c v&#7873; m&#7897;t &#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867; s&#417; sinh. B&#7903;i l&#7869;, m&#7897;t &#273;&#7913;a b&eacute; kh&ocirc;ng t&agrave;i n&agrave;o th&#7875; hi&#7879;n s&#7921; ph&agrave;n n&agrave;n hay th&aacute;ch th&#7913;c v&#7899;i ng&#432;&#7901;i b&#7843;o v&#7879; n&oacute; khi b&#7843;n th&acirc;n th&#7853;m ch&iacute; c&ograve;n kh&oacute; c&oacute; th&#7875; ch&#7841;m v&agrave;o tay n&#7855;m c&#7917;a, ch&#7913; &#273;&#7915;ng n&oacute;i &#273;&#7871;n vi&#7879;c v&#7863;n v&ograve;i n&#432;&#7899;c. &#272;&#7913;a tr&#7867; c&#7847;n ph&#7843;i t&#7921; c&oacute; ch&igrave;a kh&oacute;a nh&agrave; v&agrave; t&agrave;i kho&#7843;n ng&acirc;n h&agrave;ng tr&#432;&#7899;c khi ch&uacute;ng c&oacute; th&#7875; ho&agrave;i nghi v&#7873; cha m&#7865; m&igrave;nh nh&#432; m&#7897;t l&#7921;a ch&#7885;n th&#7921;c t&#7871;. V&#7873; tr&#7921;c gi&aacute;c th&igrave; &#273;&oacute; l&agrave; l&yacute; do t&#7841;i sao ch&uacute;ng ta ph&#7843;i ch&#7883;u t&#7893;n th&#432;&#417;ng m&agrave; kh&ocirc;ng d&aacute;m ph&agrave;n n&agrave;n nhi&#7873;u v&#7899;i cha m&#7865; khi b&#7883; &#273;&#7889;i x&#7917; kh&ocirc;ng m&#7845;y c&ocirc;ng b&#7857;ng.Do &#273;&oacute;, tr&#7867; nh&#7887; theo b&#7843;n n&#259;ng s&#7869; bi&#7871;n t&#7893;n th&#432;&#417;ng ch&uacute;ng nh&#7853;n &#273;&#432;&#7907;c th&agrave;nh s&#7921; ch&aacute;n gh&eacute;t &#273;&#7889;i v&#7899;i b&#7843;n th&acirc;n. Ch&uacute;ng t&#7921; h&#7887;i: &ldquo;M&igrave;nh &#273;&atilde; l&agrave;m g&igrave; &#273;&#7875; cha m&#7865; ph&#7853;t l&ograve;ng?&rdquo; thay v&igrave; &#273;&uacute;ng ra n&ecirc;n l&agrave; &ldquo;T&#7841;i sao cha m&#7865; l&#7841;i kh&ocirc;ng quan t&acirc;m &#273;&#7871;n m&igrave;nh?&rdquo;. &#272;&#7913;a tr&#7867; gh&eacute;t b&#7843;n th&acirc;n m&igrave;nh thay v&igrave; nghi ng&#7901; nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i l&#7869; ra n&ecirc;n b&#7843;o v&#7879; ch&uacute;ng, m&#7863;c c&#7843;m l&ecirc;n b&#7843;n th&acirc;n thay v&igrave; t&#7913;c gi&#7853;n l&ecirc;n ng&#432;&#7901;i l&#7899;n. V&#7873; m&#7863;t c&#7843;m gi&aacute;c, &#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867; th&#7845;y &#273;&oacute; gi&#7889;ng nh&#432; m&#7897;t l&#7921;a ch&#7885;n an to&agrave;n h&#417;n.M&#7897;t v&ograve;ng xo&aacute;y lu&#7849;n qu&#7849;n c&#7911;a l&ograve;ng c&#259;m th&ugrave; b&#7843;n th&acirc;n sau &#273;&oacute; b&#7855;t &#273;&#7847;u. &#272;&#7913;a tr&#7867; tr&#432;&#7903;ng th&agrave;nh m&agrave; kh&ocirc;ng &#273;&#432;&#7907;c y&ecirc;u th&#432;&#417;ng lu&ocirc;n th&#7855;c m&#7855;c v&#7873; l&#7895;i l&#7847;m c&#7911;a ch&uacute;ng. Cha m&#7865; ch&uacute;ng c&oacute; th&#7875; l&agrave; nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i nghi&#7879;n r&#432;&#7907;u, &aacute;i k&#7927;, b&#7841;o h&agrave;nh ho&#7863;c tr&#7847;m c&#7843;m; h&#7885; ch&#432;a t&#7915;ng n&#7845;u m&#7897;t b&#7919;a c&#417;m &#273;&uacute;ng ngh&#297;a ho&#7863;c hay la h&eacute;t trong ph&ograve;ng ng&#7911;. Nh&#432;ng th&#7921;c ch&#7845;t, v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; kh&ocirc;ng h&#7873; n&#7857;m &#7903; nh&#7919;ng &#273;i&#7873;u tr&ecirc;n. B&#7903;i l&#7869; &#273;&#7889;i v&#7899;i m&#7897;t &#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867;, cha m&#7865; &#273;&#432;&#7907;c h&igrave;nh dung qua nh&#7919;ng &#7845;n t&#432;&#7907;ng c&#417; b&#7843;n nh&#7845;t. &#272;&#7875; &#273;&aacute;p tr&#7843; cho s&#7921; thi&#7871;u th&#7889;n t&igrave;nh c&#7843;m t&#7915; cha m&#7865;, h&#7859;n r&#7857;ng &#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867; s&#7869; tr&#7903; th&agrave;nh m&#7897;t &#273;&#7913;a t&#7891;i t&#7879;, ng&#7901; ngh&#7879;ch, x&#7845;u t&iacute;nh, &iacute;ch k&#7927;, ch&#7853;m ch&#7841;p, g&#7855;t g&#7887;ng v&agrave; n&ocirc;ng c&#7841;n.<figure class="image"><img src="https://c10.patreonusercontent.com/3/eyJxIjoxMDAsIndlYnAiOjB9/patreon-media/p/post/31003398/7d8a8d6ff9294371b0aa27ae740be22e/1.jpg?token-time=1621382400&amp;token-hash=y04_pkGQZrhQa9WtAEXhkh1gs0II0Gy0GxX4nryvOak%3D"></figure>Khi &#273;&#7871;n tu&#7893;i tr&#432;&#7903;ng th&agrave;nh, ph&#7847;n l&#7899;n &#273;&#7897;ng c&#417; cho s&#7921; n&#7893;i lo&#7841;n d&#7847;n b&#7883; qu&ecirc;n l&atilde;ng. Thanh thi&#7871;u ni&ecirc;n b&#7887; qua vi&#7879;c ngh&#297; v&#7873; nh&#7919;ng g&igrave; &#273;&atilde; x&#7843;y ra v&agrave; ch&uacute;ng c&#361;ng kh&ocirc;ng nh&#7845;t thi&#7871;t ph&#7843;i suy ngh&#297; r&otilde; r&agrave;ng v&#7873; nh&#7919;ng ng&agrave;y th&#417; &#7845;u &ndash; c&aacute;c b&#7853;c cha m&#7865; n&ecirc;n th&#7845;y nh&#7865; nh&otilde;m v&igrave; &#273;i&#7873;u n&agrave;y. Thay v&igrave; m&#7897;t cu&#7897;c kh&aacute;m ph&aacute; n&#7897;i t&acirc;m th&#7859;ng th&#7855;n, ch&uacute;ng d&#7921;a v&agrave;o album &#7843;nh&nbsp; ch&#7913;a &#273;&#7921;ng nh&#7919;ng b&#7913;c h&igrave;nh m&agrave; ch&#7881; g&#7907;i nh&#7899; v&#7873; nh&#7919;ng kho&#7843;nh kh&#7855;c h&#7841;nh ph&uacute;c c&#7911;a gia &#273;&igrave;nh. &#272;&#7913;a tr&#7867; gi&#7901; &#273;&acirc;y kh&ocirc;ng c&ograve;n c&oacute; th&#7875; bi&#7871;t &#273;&#432;&#7907;c ngu&#7891;n g&#7889;c c&#7909; th&#7875; c&#7911;a nh&#7919;ng c&#7843;m x&uacute;c x&#7845;u h&#7893;, n&oacute; s&#7869; c&#7843;m nh&#7853;n nh&#7919;ng c&#7843;m x&uacute;c &#7845;y nh&#432; l&agrave; &#273;i&#7873;u g&igrave; &#273;&oacute; &#7903; &#273;&#7845;y t&#7915; khi ch&uacute;ng &#273;&#432;&#7907;c sinh ra, m&#7897;t hi&#7879;n t&#432;&#7907;ng t&#7921; nhi&ecirc;n nh&#432; th&#7901;i ti&#7871;t x&#7845;u ho&#7863;c c&#7843;m c&uacute;m.S&#7921; gi&#7843;i tho&aacute;t &#273;&#7907;i ch&#7901; ch&uacute;ng ta sau c&aacute;nh c&#7917;a khi ta d&aacute;m ti&#7871;p c&#7853;n m&#7897;t suy ngh&#297; h&#7871;t s&#7913;c vi&#7875;n v&ocirc;ng: r&#7857;ng l&ograve;ng c&#259;m th&ugrave; b&#7843;n th&acirc;n c&#7911;a ch&uacute;ng ta ho&agrave;n to&agrave;n kh&ocirc;ng ph&#7843;i l&agrave; &#273;i&#7873;u hi&#7875;n nhi&ecirc;n v&#7899;i b&#7845;t c&#7913; ai, n&oacute; ch&#7881; l&agrave; c&#7843;m x&uacute;c t&#7841;o n&ecirc;n b&#7903;i nh&#7919;ng thi&#7871;u th&#7889;n t&igrave;nh c&#7843;m thu&#7903; b&eacute; v&agrave; r&#7857;ng ta kh&ocirc;ng ph&#7843;i t&ocirc;n k&iacute;nh hay ng&#432;&#7905;ng m&#7897; nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&atilde; t&#7915; ch&#7889;i y&ecirc;u th&#432;&#417;ng ta. Ch&uacute;ng ta gi&#7901; &#7903; trong m&#7897;t v&#7883; tr&iacute; c&oacute; th&#7875; hi&#7875;u r&otilde;, th&#7855;c m&#7855;c v&agrave; ti&#7871;c nu&#7889;i cho nh&#7919;ng g&igrave; th&#7901;i th&#417; &#7845;u &#273;&atilde; kh&ocirc;ng nh&#7853;n &#273;&#432;&#7907;c. Cu&#7889;i c&ugrave;ng, ch&uacute;ng ta kh&ocirc;ng n&ecirc;n ch&aacute;n gh&eacute;t b&#7843;n th&acirc;n v&igrave; cho &#273;&#7871;n b&acirc;y gi&#7901;, ta c&#361;ng s&#7869; kh&ocirc;ng th&#7875; t&igrave;m &#273;&#432;&#7907;c l&yacute; do gi&#7843;i th&iacute;ch cho vi&#7879;c t&#7841;i sao b&#7843;n th&acirc;n &#273;&atilde; kh&ocirc;ng th&#7875; khi&#7871;n ng&#432;&#7901;i l&#7899;n y&ecirc;u th&#432;&#417;ng ta nh&#432; c&aacute;ch m&agrave; h&#7885; &#273;&aacute;ng l&#7869; ra n&ecirc;n l&agrave;m t&#7915; ban &#273;&#7847;u.----------------------------------------------Translator: Tr&#7847;n Thu Th&#7843;o&nbsp;Editor: Nguy&#7877;n Mai ChiH&igrave;nh &#7843;nh minh h&#7885;a: S&#432;u t&#7847;m InternetLink b&agrave;i g&#7889;c: https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/how-unloving-parents-can-generate-self-hating-children/----------------------------------------------&#119826;&#119832;&#119812; - &#119826;&#119828;&#119809; &#119832;&#119848;&#119854;&#119853;&#119841; &#119812;&#119837;&#119842;&#119853;&#119848;&#119851;Fanpage: SUB Youth EditorEmail: sye.youthplus.vn@gmail.comWebsite: youth.com.vn&nbsp;

SUB Youth Editor

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