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JOHARI WINDOW – CÔNG CỤ ĐỂ HIỂU RÕ BẢN THÂN

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Trong cu&#7897;c s&#7889;ng, kh&ocirc;ng &iacute;t l&#7847;n ch&uacute;ng ta g&#7863;p ph&#7843;i nh&#7919;ng v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; kh&oacute; kh&#259;n, v&#432;&#7899;ng m&#7855;c m&agrave; kh&ocirc;ng bi&#7871;t c&aacute;ch n&agrave;o &#273;&#7875; gi&#7843;i quy&#7871;t. Cho d&ugrave; &#273;&atilde; suy ngh&#297; th&acirc;u &#273;&ecirc;m su&#7889;t s&aacute;ng nh&#432;ng b&#7841;n v&#7851;n kh&ocirc;ng th&#7875; n&agrave;o tho&aacute;t &#273;&#432;&#7907;c v&ograve;ng suy ngh&#297; lu&#7849;n qu&#7849;n &#273;ang d&#7847;n b&ograve;n r&uacute;t n&#259;ng l&#432;&#7907;ng c&#7911;a b&#7843;n th&acirc;n. Ho&#7863;c, c&oacute; &#273;&ocirc;i khi ch&uacute;ng ta &#273;&atilde; t&igrave;m ra h&#432;&#7899;ng &#273;i, gi&#7843;i ph&aacute;p cho v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh nh&#432;ng l&#7841;i kh&ocirc;ng &#273;&#7911; can &#273;&#7843;m &#273;&#7875; &#273;&#7863;t b&#432;&#7899;c ch&acirc;n &#273;&#7847;u ti&ecirc;n &#273;&#7875; thay &#273;&#7893;i ch&iacute;nh m&igrave;nh, thay &#273;&#7893;i cu&#7897;c &#273;&#7901;i, s&#7921; nghi&#7879;p, m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; c&#7911;a b&#7843;n th&acirc;n. Nh&#7919;ng l&uacute;c nh&#432; th&#7871;, n&#259;ng l&#432;&#7907;ng c&#7911;a ri&ecirc;ng m&#7897;t m&igrave;nh b&#7841;n l&agrave; kh&ocirc;ng &#273;&#7911; &#273;&#7875; c&oacute; th&#7875; tho&aacute;t ra kh&#7887;i v&ograve;ng l&#7863;p c&#361;, &#273;&#7875; ki&#7871;n t&#7841;o m&#7897;t s&#7921; thay &#273;&#7893;i l&#7899;n trong cu&#7897;c &#273;&#7901;i, s&#7921; nghi&#7879;p, m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; c&#7911;a ch&iacute;nh m&igrave;nh m&agrave; c&#7847;n thi&#7871;t ph&#7843;i c&oacute; m&#7897;t &#273;&#7897;ng l&#7921;c t&aacute;c &#273;&#7897;ng b&ecirc;n ngo&agrave;i &#273;&#7875; &#273;&#7863;t v&agrave;o &#273;&oacute; th&ecirc;m m&#7897;t ch&uacute;t &#273;&#7897;ng l&#7921;c cho b&#7843;n th&acirc;n b&#7855;t &#273;&#7847;u thay &#273;&#7893;i. Albert Einstein &#273;&atilde; t&#7915;ng n&oacute;i: &ldquo;ch&uacute;ng ta kh&ocirc;ng th&#7875; gi&#7843;i quy&#7871;t m&#7897;t v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; b&#7857;ng ch&iacute;nh c&aacute;i &#273;&#7847;u &#273;&atilde; t&#7841;o ra n&oacute;&rdquo;. Ch&iacute;nh v&igrave; v&#7853;y, &#273;&ocirc;i l&uacute;c, tr&ecirc;n h&agrave;nh tr&igrave;nh c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh, ch&uacute;ng ta c&#7847;n c&oacute; m&#7897;t ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&#7891;ng h&agrave;nh &#273;&#7875; gi&uacute;p ch&uacute;ng ta v&#432;&#7907;t qua kh&oacute; kh&#259;n.Trong h&agrave;nh tr&igrave;nh s&#7889;ng c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh, ch&uacute;ng ta lu&ocirc;n c&oacute; r&#7845;t nhi&#7873;u ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;i c&ugrave;ng, t&#7845;t c&#7843; h&#7885; &#273;&#7875;u c&oacute; th&#7875; g&#7885;i l&agrave; ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&#7891;ng h&agrave;nh v&#7899;i ch&uacute;ng ta theo m&#7897;t c&aacute;ch n&agrave;o &#273;&oacute;. H&#7885; c&oacute; th&#7875; &#273;&oacute;ng vai l&agrave; m&#7897;t ng&#432;&#7901;i b&#7841;n, m&#7897;t ng&#432;&#7901;i th&acirc;n, m&#7897;t ng&#432;&#7901;i th&#7847;y, m&#7897;t ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;i tr&#432;&#7899;c &#273;&atilde; c&oacute; nhi&#7873;u kinh nghi&#7879;m ho&#7863;c &#273;&ocirc;i khi l&agrave; ch&iacute;nh b&#7843;n th&acirc;n m&igrave;nh.... Nh&#432;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&#7891;ng h&agrave;nh c&oacute; th&#7875; h&#432;&#7899;ng d&#7851;n b&#7841;n &#273;&#7875; t&#7841;o ra nh&#7919;ng thay &#273;&#7893;i l&#7899;n trong cu&#7897;c s&#7889;ng c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh, ki&#7871;n t&#7841;o ra nh&#7919;ng &#273;i&#7873;u t&iacute;ch c&#7921;c, m&#7899;i m&#7867; th&igrave; c&#7847;n thi&#7871;t ph&#7843;i l&agrave; ng&#432;&#7901;i c&oacute; nh&#7919;ng y&#7871;u t&#7889; sau:&#272;&#7847;u ti&ecirc;n, h&#7885; l&agrave; ng&#432;&#7901;i m&agrave; ch&uacute;ng ta tin t&#432;&#7903;ng. Ng&#432;&#7901;i ta chia s&#7867; c&#7847;n l&agrave; ng&#432;&#7901;i ta c&oacute; th&#7875; ho&agrave;n to&agrave;n tin t&#432;&#7903;ng &#273;&#7875; n&oacute;i ra h&#7871;t &#273;&#432;&#7907;c nh&#7919;ng suy ngh&#297;, c&#7843;m x&uacute;c ch&#7845;t ch&#7913;a b&ecirc;n trong m&agrave; kh&ocirc;ng lo s&#7907; b&#7883; ph&ecirc; b&igrave;nh, ph&aacute;n x&eacute;t ho&#7863;c l&agrave;m t&#7893;n h&#7841;i &#273;&#7871;n b&#7843;n th&acirc;n. Khi t&#7891;n t&#7841;i s&#7921; tin t&#432;&#7903;ng gi&#7919;a hai b&ecirc;n s&#7869; t&#7841;o ra m&#7897;t k&#7871;t n&#7889;i m&#7841;nh m&#7869; &#273;&#7875; b&#7841;n c&oacute; th&#7875; n&oacute;i r&otilde; nh&#7919;ng v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh m&agrave; kh&ocirc;ng c&oacute; b&#7845;t c&#7913; &#273;i&#7875;m m&ugrave; hay ch&#7889;i b&#7887; n&agrave;o. Ch&iacute;nh khi &#273;&oacute;, ng&#432;&#7901;i b&ecirc;n ngo&agrave;i nh&igrave;n nh&#7853;n v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; m&#7899;i c&oacute; th&#7875; ch&#7881; cho ta th&#7845;y nh&#7919;ng &#273;i&#7873;u m&agrave; ta c&ograve;n thi&#7871;u s&oacute;t, nh&#7919;ng &#273;i&#7873;u m&agrave; ch&uacute;ng ta v&#7851;n l&agrave;m theo th&oacute;i quen d&#7851;n &#273;&#7871;n nh&#7919;ng s&#7921; thay &#273;&#7893;i. H&#417;n n&#7919;a, s&#7921; tin t&#432;&#7903;ng gi&#7919;a b&#7841;n v&agrave; ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&oacute; c&#361;ng gi&uacute;p b&#7841;n tr&aacute;nh &#273;&#432;&#7907;c nh&#7919;ng suy ngh&#297; ph&acirc;n t&iacute;ch, &#273;&aacute;nh gi&aacute; c&#7911;a b&#7841;n &#273;&#7889;i v&#7899;i nh&#7919;ng l&#7901;i khuy&ecirc;n m&agrave; ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&oacute; &#273;&#432;a ra. Khi &#273;&oacute; b&#7841;n m&#7903; l&ograve;ng &#273;&oacute;n nh&#7853;n ho&agrave;n to&agrave;n nh&#7919;ng suy ngh&#297;, quan &#273;i&#7875;m m&#7899;i v&agrave; c&aacute;ch th&#7913;c m&#7899;i m&agrave; tr&#432;&#7899;c gi&#7901; b&#7841;n ch&#432;a t&#7915;ng &#273;&#432;&#7907;c bi&#7871;t &#273;&#7871;n.Th&#7913; hai, h&#7885; kh&ocirc;ng b&#7883; cu&#7889;n theo c&#7843;m x&uacute;c c&#7911;a b&#7841;n. Khi l&#7855;ng nghe, ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&oacute; kh&ocirc;ng b&#7883; cu&#7889;n theo c&#7843;m x&uacute;c ri&ecirc;ng c&#7911;a b&#7841;n m&agrave; thay v&agrave;o &#273;&oacute; c&oacute; th&#7875; gi&#7919; &#273;&#432;&#7907;c th&aacute;i &#273;&#7897; qu&acirc;n b&igrave;nh &#273;&#7875; nh&igrave;n nh&#7853;n v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; m&#7897;t c&aacute;ch kh&aacute;ch quan, ch&acirc;n th&#7921;c nh&#7845;t. Con ng&#432;&#7901;i ta th&#432;&#7901;ng quy&#7871;t &#273;&#7883;nh sai l&#7847;m khi b&#7883; c&#7843;m x&uacute;c chi ph&#7889;i. Khi b&#7841;n v&agrave; c&#7843; ng&#432;&#7901;i b&#7841;n chia s&#7867; b&#7883; cu&#7889;n theo c&#7843;m x&uacute;c c&#7911;a b&#7841;n ho&#7863;c c&#7911;a ng&#432;&#7901;i &#7845;y th&igrave; &#273;&#7873;u d&#7851;n &#273;&#7871;n k&#7871;t qu&#7843; l&agrave; s&#7869; &#273;&#432;a ra m&#7897;t h&#432;&#7899;ng &#273;i m&agrave; khi&#7871;n b&#7841;n ti&#7871;p t&#7909;c v&#432;&#7899;ng v&agrave;o v&ograve;ng l&#7863;p r&#7855;c r&#7889;i m&#7899;i Ch&iacute;nh b&#7843;n th&acirc;n b&#7841;n khi g&#7863;p r&#7855;c r&#7889;i &#273;&atilde; kh&ocirc;ng th&#7875; nh&igrave;n th&#7845;y l&#7889;i ra ph&#7847;n nhi&#7873;u l&agrave; b&#7903;i b&#7883; c&#7843;m x&uacute;c chi ph&#7889;i th&igrave; ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&#7889;i di&#7879;n ph&#7843;i l&agrave; ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&ocirc;ng b&#7883; cu&#7889;n theo c&#7843;m x&uacute;c m&#7899;i c&oacute; th&#7875; k&eacute;o b&#7841;n l&ecirc;n cao, &#273;&#7913;ng tr&ecirc;n v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; r&#7855;c r&#7889;i &#273;&#7875; t&igrave;m ra l&#7889;i tho&aacute;t cho m&igrave;nh. Th&#7913; ba, h&#7885; kh&ocirc;ng v&#7897;i v&atilde; &#273;&#432;a ra l&#7901;i khuy&ecirc;n khi kh&ocirc;ng th&#7853;t s&#7921; c&#7847;n thi&#7871;t. S&#7921; ph&aacute;t tri&#7875;n c&#7911;a m&#7895;i ng&#432;&#7901;i s&#7869; ho&agrave;n thi&#7879;n nh&#7845;t khi ch&iacute;nh b&#7843;n th&acirc;n ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&oacute; c&oacute; th&#7875; t&#7921; nh&#7853;n ra v&agrave; thay &#273;&#7893;i ch&iacute;nh m&igrave;nh. Do &#273;&oacute;, ng&#432;&#7901;i kia ch&#7881; &#273;&oacute;ng vai tr&ograve; l&agrave; m&#7897;t ng&#432;&#7901;i nh&igrave;n nh&#7853;n v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; theo m&#7897;t c&aacute;ch kh&aacute;c, &#273;&#7863;t nh&#7919;ng c&acirc;u h&#7887;i theo c&aacute;ch nh&igrave;n c&#7911;a h&#7885; &#273;&#7875; cho b&#7841;n c&oacute; th&#7875; nh&igrave;n ra &#273;&#432;&#7907;c nh&#7919;ng h&#7841;n ch&#7871; c&#7911;a ch&iacute;nh m&igrave;nh. Nh&#7901; nh&#7919;ng c&acirc;u h&#7887;i &#273;&oacute;, ch&iacute;nh b&#7841;n &#273;&#432;&#7907;c &ldquo;khai s&aacute;ng&rdquo; v&agrave; t&#7921; t&igrave;m ra &#273;&#432;&#7907;c c&acirc;u tr&#7843; l&#7901;i cho ri&ecirc;ng m&igrave;nh. &#272;i&#7873;u &#273;&oacute; m&#7899;i khi&#7871;n b&#7843;n th&acirc;n b&#7841;n &#273;&#432;&#7907;c ph&aacute;t tri&#7875;n.Th&#7913; t&#432;, h&#7885; c&oacute; th&#7875; &#273;&oacute;ng vai tr&ograve; l&agrave; ch&#7895; d&#7921;a tinh th&#7847;n &#273;&#7875; ti&#7871;p th&ecirc;m cho b&#7841;n &#273;&#7897;ng l&#7921;c th&#7921;c hi&#7879;n s&#7921; thay &#273;&#7893;i. Khi g&#7863;p ph&#7843;i v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873;, &#273;&ocirc;i khi ch&iacute;nh b&#7841;n &#273;&atilde; l&agrave; ng&#432;&#7901;i nh&igrave;n nh&#7853;n ra c&aacute;ch gi&#7843;i quy&#7871;t nh&#432;ng l&#7841;i ng&#7853;p ng&#7915;ng kh&ocirc;ng l&agrave;m ch&#7881; b&#7903;i v&igrave; c&oacute; qu&aacute; nhi&#7873;u n&#7895;i s&#7907; h&atilde;i xen ngang khi b&#7841;n ph&#7843;i thay &#273;&#7893;i. B&#7841;n lo l&#7855;ng, s&#7907; h&atilde;i nh&#7919;ng h&#7853;u qu&#7843; t&#7891;i t&#7879; c&oacute; th&#7875; x&#7843;y ra. T&#7845;t c&#7843; nh&#7919;ng s&#7907; h&atilde;i, lo l&#7855;ng &#273;&oacute; &#273;&#7873;u ch&#7881; t&#7891;n t&#7841;i trong t&acirc;m tr&iacute; c&#7911;a b&#7841;n. Do &#273;&oacute;, khi c&oacute; m&#7897;t ng&#432;&#7901;i b&#7841;n &#273;&#7891;ng h&agrave;nh v&#7919;ng ch&atilde;i &#273;&#7875; c&oacute; th&#7875; chia s&#7867;, c&#7893; v&#361;, &#273;&#7897;ng vi&ecirc;n tinh th&#7847;n cho b&#7841;n v&#432;&#7907;t qua nh&#7919;ng kh&oacute; kh&#259;n, th&#7917; th&aacute;ch trong nh&#7919;ng b&#432;&#7899;c thay &#273;&#7893;i &#273;&#7847;u ti&ecirc;n s&#7869; gi&uacute;p cho b&#7841;n c&oacute; th&#7875; d&#361;ng c&#7843;m &#273;&#7875; t&#7921; t&#7841;o ra cho m&igrave;nh m&#7897;t l&#7889;i &#273;i m&#7899;i, m&#7897;t s&#7921; thay &#273;&#7893;i m&#7899;i trong cu&#7897;c s&#7889;ng c&#7911;a ch&iacute;nh m&igrave;nh.Con ng&#432;&#7901;i l&agrave; m&#7897;t gi&#7889;ng lo&agrave;i s&#7889;ng ph&#7909; thu&#7897;c v&agrave;o x&atilde; h&#7897;i, kh&ocirc;ng ai c&oacute; th&#7875; s&#7889;ng m&#7897;t m&igrave;nh m&agrave; kh&ocirc;ng li&ecirc;n quan g&igrave; &#273;&#7871;n nh&#7919;ng c&aacute; th&#7875; kh&aacute;c. Do &#273;&oacute;, vi&#7879;c t&#7853;p trung x&acirc;y d&#7921;ng nh&#7919;ng m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; ch&#7845;t l&#432;&#7907;ng &#273;&#7875; c&oacute; nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i c&ugrave;ng &#273;&#7891;ng h&agrave;nh, chia s&#7867; cu&#7897;c s&#7889;ng l&agrave; &#273;i&#7873;u h&#7871;t s&#7913;c c&#7847;n thi&#7871;t cho vi&#7879;c x&acirc;y d&#7921;ng cu&#7897;c s&#7889;ng, s&#7921; nghi&#7879;p cho ri&ecirc;ng m&igrave;nh. Tuy v&#7853;y, c&oacute; &#273;&ocirc;i khi, ch&uacute;ng ta ch&#432;a c&oacute; may m&#7855;n &#273;&#7875; g&#7863;p m&#7897;t ng&#432;&#7901;i tri k&#7927;, m&#7897;t ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;c s&#7861;n s&agrave;ng &#7903; b&ecirc;n &#273;&#7875; c&ugrave;ng chia s&#7867;, &#273;&#7897;ng vi&ecirc;n, tin t&#432;&#7903;ng th&igrave; thay v&igrave; lo l&#7855;ng, bu&#7891;n b&atilde; ch&uacute;ng ta h&atilde;y h&#7885;c c&aacute;ch l&agrave;m b&#7841;n &#273;&#7891;ng v&#7899;i ch&iacute;nh m&igrave;nh.H&atilde;y tin t&#432;&#7903;ng ch&iacute;nh m&igrave;nh &#273;&#7875; c&oacute; th&#7875; nh&igrave;n th&#7845;y h&#7871;t c&#7843;m x&uacute;c m&igrave;nh c&oacute; b&ecirc;n trong; l&#7855;ng nghe ch&iacute;nh m&igrave;nh m&agrave; kh&ocirc;ng tr&aacute;ch m&oacute;c hay ph&aacute;n x&eacute;t; &#273;&#7863;t c&acirc;u h&#7887;i cho ch&iacute;nh b&#7843;n th&acirc;n m&igrave;nh &#273;&#7875; t&igrave;m ra m&#7897;t h&#432;&#7899;ng &#273;i m&#7899;i; v&agrave; c&#7893; v&#361;, &#273;&#7897;ng vi&ecirc;n ch&iacute;nh m&igrave;nh &#273;&#7875; c&oacute; &#273;&#7911; can &#273;&#7843;m b&#432;&#7899;c l&ecirc;n ph&iacute;a tr&#432;&#7899;c. D&ugrave; c&aacute;ch n&agrave;o &#273;i ch&#259;ng n&#7919;a, ch&uacute;ng ta v&#7851;n lu&ocirc;n ti&#7871;n v&#7873; ph&iacute;a tr&#432;&#7899;c.

Lê Hạnh Xuân

Trong cuộc sống, không ít lần chúng ta gặp phải những vấn đề khó khăn, vướng mắc mà không biết cách nào để giải quyết. Cho dù đã suy nghĩ 

TRÊN HÀNH TRÌNH SỐNG, HÃY CHỌN CHO BẢN THÂN NGƯỜI BẠN ĐỒNG HÀNH GIÁ TRỊ

Study abroad at University of Otago

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