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<html><body>Ngay l&uacute;c m&igrave;nh &#273;ang nghi&#7873;n ng&#7851;m m&#7897;t quy&#7875;n s&aacute;ch trong t&#7853;p trung cao &#273;&#7897; th&igrave; th&#7901;i gian chu&#7849;n b&#7883; cho b&agrave;i thi cu&#7889;i kh&oacute;a ti&#7871;ng Anh c&#361;ng di&#7877;n ra song song. Th&#7871; l&agrave; m&igrave;nh quy&#7871;t &#273;&#7883;nh s&#7869; l&#7845;y v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; m&igrave;nh nghi&#7879;m ra t&#7915; s&aacute;ch &#273;&#7875; l&agrave;m &#273;&#7873; t&agrave;i lu&ocirc;n. M&#7863;c d&ugrave; l&uacute;c &#273;&oacute; m&igrave;nh ch&#7881; m&#7899;i &#273;&#7885;c g&#7847;n n&#7917;a quy&#7875;n th&ocirc;i nh&#432;ng v&#7851;n &#273;&#7911; &#273;&#7875; t&oacute;m l&#432;&#7907;c nh&#7919;ng n&#7897;i dung c&#417; b&#7843;n, d&#7877; hi&#7875;u nh&#7845;t cho tr&igrave;nh b&agrave;y th&agrave;nh m&#7897;t b&agrave;i thuy&#7871;t tr&igrave;nh.&#272;&acirc;y l&agrave; nh&#7919;ng g&igrave; m&igrave;nh &ldquo;nh&#7853;n&rdquo; &#273;&#432;&#7907;c t&#7915; m&#7897;t ph&#7847;n c&#417; b&#7843;n trong cu&#7889;n s&aacute;ch &ldquo;H&#432;&#7899;ng d&#7851;n s&#7917; d&#7909;ng n&#7917;a kia&rdquo; c&#7911;a chuy&ecirc;n gia v&#7873; giao ti&#7871;p v&agrave; m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; - &ocirc;ng John Gray, b&#7843;n ti&#7871;ng Anh cu&#7889;n s&aacute;ch c&oacute; t&ecirc;n l&agrave; &ldquo;Men, Woman and Relationship: Making peace with the Opposite Sex&rdquo; (d&#7883;ch t&ecirc;n s&aacute;ch theo ngh&#297;a g&#7889;c: &ldquo;&#272;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng, ph&#7909; n&#7919; v&agrave; nh&#7919;ng m&#7889;i quan h&#7879;: C&aacute;ch h&ograve;a h&#7907;p v&#7899;i gi&#7899;i &#273;&#7889;i ng&#432;&#7907;c&rdquo;). B&acirc;y gi&#7901; th&igrave; m&igrave;nh &#273;&atilde; &#273;&#7885;c xong cu&#7889;n s&aacute;ch n&ecirc;n s&#7869; c&oacute; b&agrave;i review ri&ecirc;ng v&#7873; n&oacute; trong th&#7901;i gian s&#7899;m nh&#7845;t.C&ograve;n b&acirc;y gi&#7901; m&igrave;nh mu&#7889;n chia s&#7867; 5 &#273;i&#7875;m c&#417; b&#7843;n v&#7873; nh&#7853;n th&#7913;c T&#7853;p Trung c&#7911;a &#273;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng v&agrave; nh&#7853;n th&#7913;c M&#7903; R&#7897;ng c&#7911;a ph&#7909; n&#7919;. C&aacute;ch l&iacute; gi&#7843;i cho c&acirc;u h&#7887;i &ldquo;T&#7841;i sao &#273;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng th&#432;&#7901;ng gi&#7919; im l&#7863;ng ho&#7863;c b&#7887; &#273;i, c&ograve;n ph&#7909; n&#7919; th&igrave; th&#432;&#7901;ng ph&agrave;n n&agrave;n ho&#7863;c l&agrave;m ph&#7913;c t&#7841;p h&oacute;a c&acirc;u chuy&#7879;n khi c&#7843; hai (gi&#7899;i) g&#7863;p v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873;?&rdquo;, m&igrave;nh c&#361;ng &#273;&#432;a ra m&#7897;t gi&#7843;i ph&aacute;p &#273;&#417;n gi&#7843;n &#273;&#7875; gi&#7843;i quy&#7871;t t&igrave;nh tr&#7841;ng n&agrave;y.&nbsp;Tr&#432;&#7899;c khi &#273;&#7871;n v&#7899;i ph&#7847;n n&#7897;i dung ch&iacute;nh, c&oacute; m&#7897;t c&acirc;u h&#7887;i d&#7863;t ra cho c&aacute;c b&#7841;n suy ngh&#297; nhanh: &ldquo;V&igrave; sao &#273;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng/ ph&#7909; n&#7919; l&#7841;i kh&oacute; hi&#7875;u &#273;&#7871;n nh&#432; v&#7853;y?&rdquo;. R&otilde; r&agrave;ng trong ch&uacute;ng ta ai c&#361;ng hi&#7875;u &#273;&#432;&#7907;c gi&#7919;a &#273;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng v&agrave; ph&#7909; n&#7919; c&oacute; nhi&#7873;u &#273;i&#7875;m kh&aacute;c nhau, nh&#432;ng v&#7873; m&#7863;t nh&#7853;n th&#7913;c n&oacute; kh&aacute;c nhau nh&#432; th&#7871; n&agrave;o, chi ph&#7889;i h&agrave;nh &#273;&#7897;ng c&#7911;a ch&uacute;ng ta ra sao, th&igrave; kh&ocirc;ng ph&#7843;i ai c&#361;ng bi&#7871;t. V&#7853;y th&igrave; ch&uacute;ng ta c&ugrave;ng kh&aacute;m ph&aacute; xem gi&#7919;a hai gi&#7899;i c&oacute; g&igrave; &#273;&#7863;c bi&#7879;t.&#272;&#7871;n v&#7899;i &ldquo;Nh&#7853;n th&#7913;c T&#7853;p Trung&rdquo; c&#7911;a &#273;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng v&agrave; c&oacute; 5 &#273;i&#7875;m c&#417; b&#7843;n ch&uacute;ng ta c&oacute; th&#7875; khai th&aacute;c:1. &#272;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng lu&ocirc;n x&acirc;u chu&#7895;i t&#7845;t c&#7843; c&aacute;c chi ti&#7871;t &#273;&#7875; t&#7841;o ra m&#7897;t c&aacute;ch nh&igrave;n t&#7893;ng th&#7875; &#273;&#7875; x&aacute;c &#273;&#7883;nh &#273;&#432;&#7907;c v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873;.2. H&#7885; th&#432;&#7901;ng c&acirc;n nh&#7855;c k&#297; v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; r&#7891;i m&#7899;i &#273;&#432;a ra k&#7871;t lu&#7853;n v&agrave; sau &#273;&oacute; m&#7899;i n&oacute;i v&#7899;i ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;c.3. Khi &#273;&#7889;i m&#7863;t v&#7899;i v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; ti&ecirc;u c&#7921;c, &#273;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng ch&#7881; mu&#7889;n c&oacute; m&#7897;t kho&#7843;ng kh&ocirc;ng gian ri&ecirc;ng t&#432; (thu&#7853;t ng&#7919; trong s&aacute;ch d&ugrave;ng l&agrave; &ldquo;chui v&agrave;o hang&rdquo;) &#273;&#7875; x&acirc;u chu&#7895;i l&#7841;i to&agrave;n b&#7897; s&#7921; vi&#7879;c v&agrave; t&igrave;m gi&#7843;i ph&aacute;p. H&#7885; kh&ocirc;ng c&#7847;n &#273;&#7871;n s&#7921; h&#7895; tr&#7907; tr&#7915; khi h&#7885; y&ecirc;u c&#7847;u &#273;i&#7873;u &#273;&oacute;.4. &#272;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng hi&#7871;m khi l&agrave;m nhi&#7873;u vi&#7879;c c&ugrave;ng m&#7897;t l&uacute;c, v&igrave; h&#7885; th&#432;&#7901;ng c&oacute; &ldquo;danh s&aacute;ch &#432;u ti&ecirc;n&rdquo; cho m&#7885;i c&ocirc;ng vi&#7879;c.5. Nh&#7919;ng m&#7889;i quan t&acirc;m h&agrave;ng &#273;&#7847;u c&#7911;a &#273;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng l&agrave;: k&#7871;t qu&#7843;, s&#7921; c&#7841;nh tranh, c&ocirc;ng vi&#7879;c, t&#432; duy logic v&agrave; c&aacute;ch &#273;&#7875; &#273;&#7841;t &#273;&#432;&#7907;c m&#7909;c ti&ecirc;u,&hellip;&nbsp;Ng&#432;&#7907;c l&#7841;i v&#7899;i &#273;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng, "Nh&#7853;n th&#7913;c m&#7903; r&#7897;ng" c&#7911;a ph&#7909; n&#7919; c&#361;ng c&oacute; 5 &#273;i&#7875;m &#273;&aacute;ng &#273;&#7875; kh&aacute;m ph&aacute;:1. Ph&#7909; n&#7919; th&#432;&#7901;ng &#273;&oacute;n nh&#7853;n to&agrave;n b&#7897; c&acirc;u chuy&#7879;n/ v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; tr&#432;&#7899;c. Sau &#273;&oacute; h&#7885; m&#7899;i c&#7849;n th&#7853;n xem x&eacute;t t&#7915;ng chi ti&#7871;t nh&#7887; trong &#273;&oacute; &#273;&#7875; t&igrave;m ra m&#7889;i li&ecirc;n h&#7879; gi&#7919;a ch&uacute;ng (ho&#7863;c m&#7889;i li&ecirc;n h&#7879; gi&#7919;a chi ti&#7871;t &#273;&oacute; v&agrave; t&#7893;ng th&#7875;) &#273;&#7875; x&aacute;c &#273;&#7883;nh &#273;&#432;&#7907;c v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873;.2. Khi ph&#7909; n&#7919;a suy x&eacute;t m&atilde;i v&#7873; m&#7897;t v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873;, h&#7885; s&#7869; th&#432;&#7901;ng chia s&#7867; v&#7899;i ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;c. Sau qu&aacute; tr&igrave;nh &#273;&oacute;, h&#7885; m&#7899;i &#273;&#432;a ra &#273;&#432;&#7907;c k&#7871;t lu&#7853;n c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh.3. Khi &#273;&#7889;i m&#7863;t v&#7899;i v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; ti&ecirc;u c&#7921;c, ph&#7909; n&#7919; th&#432;&#7901;ng t&#7853;p trung &#273;&#7875; t&igrave;m ra nguy&ecirc;n nh&acirc;n v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; h&#417;n. L&uacute;c &#273;&oacute;, h&#7885; c&#7847;n m&#7897;t ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&#7875; chia s&#7867; v&#7873; m&#7863;t c&#7843;m x&uacute;c v&agrave; c&oacute; th&#7875; gi&uacute;p &#273;&#7905; v&#7873; m&#7863;t tinh th&#7847;n.4. Ph&#7909; n&#7919; c&oacute; m&#7897;t kh&#7843; n&#259;ng &#273;&#7863;c bi&#7879;t: C&oacute; th&#7875; l&agrave;m m&#7885;i (nhi&#7873;u) vi&#7879;c c&ugrave;ng m&#7897;t l&uacute;c. V&iacute; d&#7909;, h&#7885; c&oacute; th&#7875; v&#7915;a gi&#7863;t qu&#7847;n &aacute;o v&#7915;a xem tivi trong l&uacute;c t&#7855;m. &#272;i&#7873;u &#273;&oacute; nghe t&#432;&#7903;ng nh&#432; &#273;&ugrave;a nh&#432;ng &#273;&oacute; l&agrave; th&#7853;t. Nh&#432;ng trong th&#7921;c t&#7871;, ph&#7909; n&#7919; c&#361;ng th&#432;&#7901;ng b&#7887; qua b&#432;&#7899;c s&#7855;p x&#7871;p c&ocirc;ng vi&#7879;c theo c&aacute;c th&#7913; t&#7921; &#432;u ti&ecirc;n. Ch&iacute;nh &#273;i&#7873;u &#273;&oacute; l&agrave;m h&#7885; d&#7877; b&#7883; c&#259;ng th&#7859;ng v&igrave; c&oacute; qu&aacute; nhi&#7873;u c&ocirc;ng vi&#7879;c ph&#7843;i x&#7917; l&iacute; nh&#432;ng kh&ocirc;ng bi&#7871;t n&ecirc;n b&#7855;t &#273;&#7847;u t&#7915; c&aacute;i n&agrave;o.5. Nh&#7919;ng m&#7889;i quan t&acirc;m h&agrave;ng &#273;&#7847;u c&#7911;a ph&#7909; n&#7919; l&agrave;: c&aacute;c m&#7889;i quan h&#7879;, t&igrave;nh y&ecirc;u, s&#7921; chia s&#7867;, h&#7907;p t&aacute;c v&agrave; giao ti&#7871;p,...Sau 5 &#273;i&#7875;m kh&aacute;c bi&#7879;t c&#417; b&#7843;n &#273;&uacute;c k&#7871;t &#273;&#432;&#7907;c t&#7915; cu&#7889;n s&aacute;ch &ldquo;H&#432;&#7899;ng d&#7851;n s&#7917; d&#7909;ng n&#7917;a kia&rdquo;, ch&uacute;ng ta c&oacute; th&#7875; v&#7853;n d&#7909;ng n&oacute; &#273;&#7875; l&iacute; gi&#7843;i r&#7845;t nhi&#7873;u hi&#7879;n t&#432;&#7907;ng v&igrave; sao trong c&ugrave;ng m&#7897;t t&igrave;nh hu&#7889;ng m&agrave; ph&#7909; n&#7919;a v&agrave; &#273;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng l&#7841;i c&oacute; nh&#7919;ng suy ngh&#297; v&agrave; h&agrave;nh vi kh&aacute;c nhau nh&#432; v&#7853;y. C&#361;ng v&igrave; l&iacute; do &#273;&oacute; m&agrave; t&aacute;c gi&#7843; John Gray - chuy&ecirc;n gia giao ti&#7871;p v&agrave; m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; n&#7893;i ti&#7871;ng qu&#7889;c t&#7871; &#273;&atilde; d&agrave;nh t&acirc;m huy&#7871;t 30 n&#259;m &#273;&#7875; nghi&ecirc;n c&#7913;u v&#7873; v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; n&agrave;y. &Ocirc;ng mu&#7889;n mang l&#7841;i cho m&#7885;i ng&#432;&#7901;i s&#7921; hi&#7875;u bi&#7871;t s&acirc;u h&#417;n v&#7873; c&aacute;c v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; trong m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; con ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&#7875; &#273;&#7901;i s&#7889;ng tinh th&#7847;n c&#7911;a ch&uacute;ng ta t&#7889;t h&#417;n. &#272;&#7875; m&#7885;i ng&#432;&#7901;i d&#7877; h&igrave;nh dung, 5 &#273;i&#7875;m tr&ecirc;n s&#7869; &#273;&#432;&#7907;c &aacute;p d&#7909;ng v&agrave;o vi&#7879;c l&iacute; gi&#7843;i c&aacute;c c&acirc;u h&#7887;i &#273;&#7863;t ra cho m&#7885;i ng&#432;&#7901;i t&#7915; l&uacute;c &#273;&#7847;u.V&#7899;i c&acirc;u h&#7887;i &ldquo;T&#7841;i sao &#273;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng th&#432;&#7901;ng gi&#7919; im l&#7863;ng ho&#7863;c b&#7887; &#273;i, c&ograve;n ph&#7909; n&#7919; th&igrave; th&#432;&#7901;ng ph&agrave;n n&agrave;n ho&#7863;c l&agrave;m chuy&#7879;n b&eacute; x&eacute; ra to khi c&#7843; hai (gi&#7899;i) g&#7863;p v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873;?&rdquo;, theo nh&#7919;ng ph&acirc;n t&iacute;ch &#7903; tr&ecirc;n: &ldquo;Nh&#7853;n th&#7913;c T&#7853;p Trung&rdquo; c&#7911;a &#273;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng &#273;&#7883;nh h&#432;&#7899;ng h&#7885; c&#7847;n m&#7897;t kho&#7843;ng kh&ocirc;ng gan ri&ecirc;ng t&#432; &#273;&#7875; x&acirc;u chu&#7895;i l&#7841;i m&#7885;i vi&#7879;c &#273;&#7875; t&igrave;m ra gi&#7843;i ph&aacute;p cho v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873;. Nh&#432;ng v&#7899;i &ldquo;Nh&#7853;n th&#7913;c m&#7903; r&#7897;ng&rdquo; c&#7911;a ph&#7909; n&#7919;, h&#7885; s&#7869; c&#7889; g&#7855;ng t&igrave;m c&aacute;ch &#273;&#7875; gi&#7843;i t&#7887;a c&#7843;m x&uacute;c c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh ra b&ecirc;n ngo&agrave;i &#273;&#7875; (c&oacute; c&#7843;m gi&aacute;c) &#273;&#432;&#7907;c chia s&#7867;. H&#7885; mu&#7889;n t&igrave;m ra nguy&ecirc;n nh&acirc;n c&#7911;a v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; &#273;&#7875; s&#7917;a ch&#7919;a ho&#7863;c kh&#7855;c ph&#7909;c n&oacute;. V&igrave; v&#7853;y, ph&#7909; n&#7919; s&#7869; hi&#7875;u l&#7847;m s&#7921; im l&#7863;ng ho&#7863;c b&#7887; &#273;i c&#7911;a &#273;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng l&agrave; v&ocirc; t&acirc;m v&agrave; v&ocirc; tr&aacute;ch nhi&#7879;m. C&ograve;n &#273;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng s&#7869; hi&#7875;u l&#7847;m nhu c&#7847;u &#273;&#432;&#7907;c chia s&#7867; (l&#7855;ng nghe) c&#7911;a ph&#7909; n&#7919; l&agrave; s&#7921; ch&#7845;t v&#7845;n hay l&agrave;m qu&aacute; v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; (ph&agrave;n n&agrave;n).N&ecirc;n n&#7871;u ch&uacute;ng&nbsp;ta hi&#7875;u r&otilde; b&#7843;n ch&#7845;t c&#7911;a hai lo&#7841;i nh&#7853;n th&#7913;c tr&ecirc;n, ch&uacute;ng ta s&#7869; bi&#7871;t c&aacute;ch &#273;&#7875; x&#7917; l&iacute; t&igrave;nh tr&#7841;ng n&agrave;y khi &#273;&#7889;i m&#7863;t v&#7899;i n&oacute;.*** [Nhu c&#7847;u c&oacute; kh&ocirc;ng gian ri&ecirc;ng t&#432; v&agrave; nhu c&#7847;u c&#7847;n &#273;&#432;&#7907;c chia s&#7867; l&agrave; &#273;&#7863;c tr&#432;ng ri&ecirc;ng c&#7911;a m&#7895;i gi&#7899;i]Gi&#7843;i ph&aacute;p &#273;&#417;n gi&#7843;n d&agrave;nh cho t&#7845;t c&#7843; ch&uacute;ng ta l&agrave; g&igrave;?- &#272;&agrave;n &ocirc;ng n&ecirc;n &#273;&#7875; cho ph&#7909; n&#7919; bi&#7871;t b&#7841;n ch&#7881; l&agrave; &#273;ang c&#7847;n m&#7897;t kho&#7843;ng kh&ocirc;ng gian ri&ecirc;ng &#273;&#7875; suy ngh&#297; v&#7873; v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; n&agrave;y ch&#7913; kh&ocirc;ng ph&#7843;i b&#7841;n kh&ocirc;ng quan t&acirc;m chuy&#7879;n g&igrave; &#273;ang x&#7843;y ra. (T&#7889;t h&#417;n h&#7871;t h&atilde;y cho h&#7885; bi&#7871;t m&#7897;t kho&#7843;ng th&#7901;i gian c&#7909; th&#7875; b&#7841;n c&#7847;n c&oacute;, s&#7869; gi&uacute;p &#273;&#7889;i ph&#432;&#417;ng an t&acirc;m h&#417;n, h&#7885; s&#7869; c&#7843;m th&#7845;y &#273;&#432;&#7907;c t&ocirc;n tr&#7885;ng). - V&#7873; ph&iacute;a ph&#7909; n&#7919;, c&aacute;c b&#7841;n n&ecirc;n b&igrave;nh t&#297;nh v&agrave; t&igrave;m m&#7897;t ai &#273;&oacute; &#273;&aacute;ng tin c&#7853;y chia s&#7867; v&#7873; v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh &#273;&#7875; nh&#7853;n &#273;&#432;&#7907;c s&#7921; h&#7895; tr&#7907; n&#7871;u c&#7847;n thi&#7871;t (l&uacute;c n&agrave;y nhu c&#7847;u &#273;&#432;&#7907;c l&#7855;ng nghe v&agrave; chia s&#7867; c&#7911;a n&#7919; gi&#7899;i th&#432;&#7901;ng &#7903; m&#7913;c c&#7845;p b&aacute;ch).- Sau m&#7897;t kho&#7843;ng th&#7901;i gian t&#432;&#417;ng &#273;&#7889;i, c&#7843; hai &#273;&#7873;u n&ecirc;n ch&#7911; &#273;&#7897;ng c&ugrave;ng nhau gi&#7843;i quy&#7871;t v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873;/ m&acirc;u thu&#7851;n trong s&#7921; th&#7845;u hi&#7875;u v&agrave; bao dung.Th&#7853;t&nbsp; ra s&#7921; kh&aacute;c bi&#7879;t tuy t&#7841;o ra nhi&#7873;u &ldquo;t&igrave;nh hu&#7889;ng kh&oacute; x&#7917;&rdquo; gi&#7919;a hai gi&#7899;i nh&#432;ng n&#7871;u ch&uacute;ng ta c&oacute; s&#7921; hi&#7875;u bi&#7871;t v&#7873; n&oacute; c&#361;ng th&#7845;y &#273;&#432;&#7907;c nhi&#7873;u m&#7863;t t&iacute;ch c&#7921;c. Hi v&#7885;ng ch&#7911; &#273;&#7873; n&agrave;y s&#7869; gi&uacute;p c&aacute;c b&#7841;n quan t&acirc;m nhi&#7873;u h&#417;n &#273;&#7871;n nh&#7919;ng m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; xung quanh, &#273;&#7875; c&aacute;c b&#7841;n c&oacute; th&#7875; &ldquo;n&acirc;ng c&#7845;p&rdquo; ch&#7845;t l&#432;&#7907;ng trong c&aacute;c m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; &#273;&oacute; v&agrave; cu&#7897;c s&#7889;ng c&#7911;a m&#7895;i ng&#432;&#7901;i s&#7869; tr&#7903; n&ecirc;n t&iacute;ch c&#7921;c h&#417;n.[YOUTHER] - Th&#417; L&#7879;</body></html>

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