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Nghịch Lý Người Hay Giúp Đỡ Người Khác, Nhưng Lại Chẳng Tự Giúp Được Mình

Hai n&#259;m qua khi l&agrave;m vi&#7879;c cho m&#7897;t c&ocirc;ng ty T&acirc;m L&yacute;, m&igrave;nh c&oacute; may m&#7855;n &#273;&#432;&#7907;c &ldquo;h&#7885;c k&eacute;&rdquo; m&#7897;t s&#7889; kh&oacute;a h&#7885;c v&#7873; d&#7841;y con c&#361;ng nh&#432; &#273;&#7885;c c&aacute;c &#273;&#7847;u s&aacute;ch v&#7873; d&#7841;y con &ndash; nh&#7919;ng kh&oacute;a h&#7885;c v&agrave; s&aacute;ch n&agrave;y &#273;&atilde; thay &#273;&#7893;i b&#7843;n th&acirc;n m&igrave;nh r&#7845;t chi l&agrave; nhi&#7873;u lu&ocirc;n. Thay &#273;&#7893;i r&otilde; nh&#7845;t cho m&igrave;nh &#273;&oacute; l&agrave;, m&igrave;nh bi&#7871;t &#273;&#432;&#7907;c t&#7841;i sao m&igrave;nh l&#7841;i h&agrave;nh x&#7917; v&agrave; ra quy&#7871;t &#273;&#7883;nh nh&#432; hi&#7879;n t&#7841;i. V&iacute; d&#7909; nh&#432; t&#7841;i sao m&igrave;nh kh&ocirc;ng th&iacute;ch tranh lu&#7853;n hay n&ecirc;u ra &yacute; ki&#7871;n t&#7841;i c&aacute;c cu&#7897;c h&#7885;p, t&#7841;i sao m&igrave;nh th&iacute;ch l&agrave;m c&ocirc;ng vi&#7879;c gi&uacute;p &#273;&#7905; ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;c, t&#7841;i sao c&#7843;m x&uacute;c c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh lu&ocirc;n b&igrave;nh t&#297;nh ch&#7913; kh&ocirc;ng l&ecirc;n cao xu&#7889;ng th&#7845;p nh&#432; nhi&#7873;u ng&#432;&#7901;i. T&#7845;t c&#7843; &#273;&#7873;u xu&#7845;t ph&aacute;t t&#7915; qu&aacute; tr&igrave;nh m&igrave;nh &#273;&#432;&#7907;c nu&ocirc;i n&#7845;ng t&#7915; nh&#7887;, nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i, nh&#7919;ng m&ocirc;i tr&#432;&#7901;ng, nh&#7919;ng &#7843;nh h&#432;&#7903;ng t&#7915; h&#7891;i c&ograve;n nh&#7887; x&iacute;u c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh. Nh&#7901; nh&#7919;ng ch&#432;&#417;ng tr&igrave;nh h&#7885;c v&agrave; &#273;&#7885;c nh&#7919;ng cu&#7889;n s&aacute;ch d&#7841;y con nh&#432; v&#7853;y, m&igrave;nh c&oacute; c&#417; h&#7897;i &#273;&#432;&#7907;c xem l&#7841;i ch&iacute;nh cu&#7897;c &#273;&#7901;i m&igrave;nh &ndash; xem b&#7843;n th&acirc;n m&igrave;nh &#273;&atilde; l&#7899;n l&ecirc;n nh&#432; th&#7871; n&agrave;o &ndash; xem l&#7841;i qu&aacute; kh&#7913; l&agrave; m&#7897;t h&agrave;nh tr&igrave;nh kh&ocirc;ng d&#7877; d&agrave;ng, nh&#432;ng r&#7845;t l&agrave; &#273;&aacute;ng.<h2>1/ &#272;&#7913;a tr&#7867; b&ecirc;n trong m&#7895;i ng&#432;&#7901;i</h2>&ldquo;&#272;&#7913;a tr&#7867; n&#7897;i t&acirc;m&rdquo; (Inner Child) hi&#7879;n h&#7919;u trong m&#7895;i ch&uacute;ng ta l&agrave; ph&#7847;n t&iacute;nh c&aacute;ch ch&acirc;n th&#7853;t, d&#7877; t&#7893;n th&#432;&#417;ng v&agrave; theo khuynh h&#432;&#7899;ng c&#7843;m x&uacute;c. &#272;&oacute; l&agrave; &#273;&#7891;ng th&#7901;i l&agrave; b&#7843;n n&#259;ng tr&#7921;c gi&aacute;c. &#272;&#7913;a tr&#7867; n&#7897;i t&acirc;m l&agrave; n&eacute;t tinh kh&ocirc;i nh&#7845;t ph&#7843;n &aacute;nh con ng&#432;&#7901;i ch&uacute;ng ta t&#7915; khi m&#7899;i l&#7885;t l&ograve;ng. &#272;&oacute; l&agrave; c&aacute;i t&ocirc;i c&#7889;t l&otilde;i, t&iacute;nh c&aacute;ch t&#7921; nhi&ecirc;n, l&agrave; s&#7921; t&#7893;ng h&ograve;a c&#7911;a c&#7843;m x&uacute;c, tr&#7921;c gi&aacute;c, b&#7843;n n&#259;ng, v&agrave; t&agrave;i n&#259;ng thi&ecirc;n b&#7849;m.&nbsp;&nbsp;Tuy nhi&ecirc;n, qu&aacute; tr&igrave;nh tr&#432;&#7903;ng th&agrave;nh &#273;i k&egrave;m v&#7899;i &ldquo;nh&#7919;ng ru&#7891;ng b&#7887; v&agrave; ph&#7899;t l&#7901;&rdquo; v&#7873; m&#7863;t c&#7843;m x&uacute;c v&agrave; th&#7875; ch&#7845;t &#273;&atilde; v&ocirc; t&igrave;nh che l&#7845;p s&#7921; hi&#7879;n h&#7919;u &#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867; n&#7897;i t&acirc;m trong m&#7895;i ch&uacute;ng ta. Ch&uacute;ng ta t&#7921; kho&aacute;c l&ecirc;n m&igrave;nh nh&#7919;ng chi&#7871;c m&#7863;t n&#7841; &#273;&#7875; b&#7843;o v&#7879; &#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867; n&#7897;i t&acirc;m t&#7893;n th&#432;&#417;ng c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh.&nbsp;&nbsp;&#272;&#7875; h&#7891;i ph&#7909;c nh&#7919;ng gi&aacute; tr&#7883; ch&acirc;n th&#7853;t c&#7911;a b&#7843;n th&acirc;n, ch&uacute;ng ta c&#7847;n h&#7885;c c&aacute;ch nu&ocirc;i d&#432;&#7905;ng l&#7841;i &#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867; b&ecirc;n trong m&igrave;nh, kh&#7903;i t&#7841;o nh&#7919;ng ni&#7873;m tin m&#7899;i &#273;&#7875; c&aacute;i t&ocirc;i ch&acirc;n ch&#7845;t ti&#7871;p t&#7909;c &#273;&#432;&#7907;c th&#7845;u hi&#7875;u v&agrave; t&#7887;a s&aacute;ng tr&ecirc;n h&agrave;nh tr&igrave;nh cu&#7897;c s&#7889;ng. Khi &#273;&oacute;, ch&uacute;ng ta s&#7869; &#273;&#432;&#7907;c n&#7841;p &#273;&#7847;y n&#259;ng l&#432;&#7907;ng, s&#7921; s&aacute;ng t&#7841;o v&agrave; s&#7889;ng c&oacute; &yacute; ngh&#297;a v&agrave; m&#7909;c &#273;&iacute;ch.<h2>2/ Qu&aacute; kh&#7913; &#7843;nh h&#432;&#7903;ng t&#7899;i hi&#7879;n t&#7841;i nh&#432; th&#7871; n&agrave;o?</h2>Khi m&igrave;nh &#273;i l&agrave;m, &#273;&ocirc;i khi m&igrave;nh nh&#7853;n &#273;&#432;&#7907;c chia s&#7867; r&#7857;ng m&igrave;nh &ldquo;h&#7901;i h&#7907;t&rdquo;, &ldquo;kh&ocirc;ng to&agrave;n t&acirc;m to&agrave;n &yacute;&rdquo;, &ldquo;kh&ocirc;ng s&#7889;ng ch&#7871;t&rdquo; v&igrave; m&#7897;t d&#7921; &aacute;n/c&ocirc;ng vi&#7879;c n&agrave;o &#273;&oacute;. V&iacute; d&#7909; khi m&igrave;nh &#273;&#432;&#7907;c giao tuy&#7875;n sinh cho m&#7897;t l&#7899;p h&#7885;c v&#7899;i KPI l&agrave; 25 h&#7885;c vi&ecirc;n, k&#7871;t qu&#7843; cu&#7889;i c&ugrave;ng m&igrave;nh ch&#7881; tuy&#7875;n &#273;&#432;&#7907;c 5 ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&ocirc;ng l&agrave;m m&igrave;nh bu&#7891;n l&#7855;m. &#272;&aacute;ng ra, khi ch&#432;a &#273;&#7841;t &#273;&#432;&#7907;c k&#7871;t qu&#7843; nh&#432; v&#7853;y, ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;c c&oacute; th&#7875; th&#7913;c &#273;&ecirc;m th&#7913;c h&ocirc;m &#273;&#7875; ngh&#297; ra gi&#7843;i ph&aacute;p, lo l&#7855;ng m&#7845;t &#259;n m&#7845;t ng&#7911; &#273;&#7875; t&igrave;m c&aacute;ch &ndash; c&ograve;n m&igrave;nh th&igrave; kh&ocirc;ng. M&igrave;nh v&#7851;n v&ocirc; t&#432; ngh&#297; r&#7857;ng chuy&#7879;n ch&#7859;ng c&oacute; g&igrave;. Ch&iacute;nh v&igrave; v&#7853;y trong c&ocirc;ng vi&#7879;c &#273;&ocirc;i khi m&igrave;nh kh&ocirc;ng c&#7889; g&#7855;ng &#273;&#7911; &#273;&#7875; &#273;&#7841;t &#273;&#432;&#7907;c hi&#7879;u qu&#7843; cao nh&#7845;t.C&aacute; nh&acirc;n m&igrave;nh b&acirc;y gi&#7901; nh&igrave;n l&#7841;i, m&#7899;i bi&#7871;t r&#7857;ng t&iacute;nh c&aacute;ch &ldquo;v&ocirc; lo v&ocirc; ngh&#297;&rdquo;, &ldquo;nh&igrave;n nh&#7853;n v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; m&#7897;t c&aacute;ch nh&#7865; nh&agrave;ng&rdquo; n&agrave;y &#273;&#7871;n t&#7915; nh&#7919;ng tr&#7843;i nghi&#7879;m s&#7889;ng xa b&#7889; m&#7865; t&#7915; nh&#7887;, v&agrave; &#7903; c&ugrave;ng v&#7899;i &ocirc;ng b&agrave; t&#7915; nh&#7887;. T&uacute;m c&aacute;i qu&#7847;n ng&#7855;n g&#7885;n l&agrave;, t&#7915; nh&#7887; do b&#7889; m&#7865; &#273;i l&agrave;m xa &#7903; n&#432;&#7899;c ngo&agrave;i, ph&#7843;i &#273;&#7875; m&igrave;nh l&#7841;i m&#7897;t m&igrave;nh &ndash; h&#7891;i &#273;&oacute; m&igrave;nh bu&#7891;n m&agrave; kh&ocirc;ng bi&#7871;t. &#272;&#7875; tr&aacute;nh &#273;i n&#7895;i bu&#7891;n v&agrave; s&#7921; c&ocirc; &#273;&#417;n, t&acirc;m th&#7913;c m&igrave;nh t&#7921; ngh&#297; ra c&aacute;c tr&ograve; ch&#417;i &#273;&#7875; xoa d&#7883;u, t&#7921; ngh&#297; ra c&aacute;ch &#273;&#7875; l&agrave;m b&#7843;n th&acirc;n m&igrave;nh b&#7899;t bu&#7891;n. Ngo&agrave;i ra, do t&#7915; tr&#432;&#7899;c &#273;&#7871;n gi&#7901; m&igrave;nh quen &#7903; m&#7897;t m&igrave;nh, t&#7921; l&agrave;m m&#7897;t m&igrave;nh t&#7889;t n&ecirc;n thi&#7871;u &#273;i s&#7921; ph&#7889;i h&#7907;p v&#7899;i &#273;&#7891;ng &#273;&#7897;i, khi l&agrave;m vi&#7879;c ch&#432;a ngh&#297; &#273;&#432;&#7907;c xa h&#417;n nh&#7919;ng h&#7853;u qu&#7843; c&ocirc;ng vi&#7879;c c&oacute; th&#7875; d&#7851;n t&#7899;i cho &#273;&#7891;ng &#273;&#7897;i. Khi nh&#7853;n ra &#273;&#432;&#7907;c nh&#7919;ng &#273;i&#7873;u n&agrave;y, m&igrave;nh &#273;ang kh&#7855;c ph&#7909;c d&#7847;n d&#7847;n, khi l&agrave;m vi&#7879;c th&igrave; c&#7889; g&#7855;ng l&agrave;m c&ugrave;ng m&#7885;i ng&#432;&#7901;i nhi&#7873;u h&#417;n &#273;&#7875; &#273;&#432;&#7907;c th&uacute;c &#273;&iacute;t, lu&ocirc;n &#273;&#7863;t ch&#7919; tr&aacute;ch nhi&#7879;m l&ecirc;n h&agrave;ng &#273;&#7847;u khi nh&#7853;n m&#7897;t c&ocirc;ng vi&#7879;c m&#7899;i.Khi m&igrave;nh &#273;i h&#432;&#7899;ng nghi&#7879;p, m&igrave;nh c&#361;ng nh&#7853;n th&#7845;y r&#7857;ng &ldquo;&#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867;&rdquo; b&ecirc;n trong c&#7911;a m&#7895;i ng&#432;&#7901;i &#7843;nh h&#432;&#7903;ng r&#7845;t nhi&#7873;u &#273;&#7871;n quy&#7871;t &#273;&#7883;nh hi&#7879;n t&#7841;i c&#7911;a c&aacute;c b&#7841;n. V&iacute; d&#7909;, c&oacute; nh&#7919;ng b&#7841;n h&#7891;i nh&#7887; hay b&#7883; ba m&#7865; so s&aacute;nh v&#7899;i tr&#7867; h&agrave;ng x&oacute;m, n&ecirc;n t&#7915; nh&#7887; lu&ocirc;n ph&#7843;i c&#7889; g&#7855;ng &#273;&#7875; tr&#7903; th&agrave;nh ng&#432;&#7901;i gi&#7887;i nh&#7845;t. L&#7899;n l&ecirc;n, d&ugrave; b&#7841;n bi&#7871;t c&ocirc;ng vi&#7879;c &#273;&oacute; kh&ocirc;ng ph&ugrave; h&#7907;p, nh&#432;ng trong v&ocirc; th&#7913;c v&#7851;n ch&#7885;n, v&igrave; n&oacute; mang l&#7841;i cho b&#7841;n c&aacute;i danh tr&#7903; th&agrave;nh ng&#432;&#7901;i gi&#7887;i nh&#7845;t. Ch&#7881; khi nh&igrave;n &#273;&#432;&#7907;c ra v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; n&agrave;y &ndash; b&#7841;n m&#7899;i b&#7855;t &#273;&#7847;u h&agrave;nh tr&igrave;nh s&#7889;ng cho con ng&#432;&#7901;i hi&#7879;n t&#7841;i. Hay c&oacute; b&#7841;n, t&#7915; nh&#7887; &#273;&#432;&#7907;c ng&#432;&#7901;i l&#7899;n d&#7841;y l&agrave; kh&ocirc;ng nghe l&#7901;i ng&#432;&#7901;i l&#7899;n l&agrave; &ldquo;b&#7845;t hi&#7871;u&rdquo;, &ldquo;kh&ocirc;ng ngoan&rdquo;. Ch&iacute;nh v&igrave; v&#7853;y khi l&#7899;n l&ecirc;n, vi&#7879;c ch&#7885;n m&#7897;t ng&agrave;nh/ngh&#7873; b&#7841;n th&iacute;ch m&agrave; tr&aacute;i &yacute; ba m&#7865; tr&#7903; th&agrave;nh m&#7897;t &#273;i&#7873;u g&igrave; &#273;&oacute; v&ocirc; c&ugrave;ng kh&oacute; kh&#259;n, v&igrave; c&aacute;i c&#7843;m gi&aacute;c &ldquo;kh&ocirc;ng ngoan&rdquo; &#273;&oacute; l&agrave;m b&#7841;n kh&ocirc;ng th&iacute;ch ch&uacute;t n&agrave;o.Nh&#7919;ng v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; h&#432;&#7899;ng nghi&#7879;p t&#432;&#7903;ng ch&#7915;ng &#273;&#417;n gi&#7843;n th&ocirc;i, nh&#432;ng &#273;i s&acirc;u v&agrave;o m&#7899;i th&#7845;y v&ocirc; c&ugrave;ng ph&#7913;c t&#7841;p. M&#7897;t quy&#7871;t &#273;&#7883;nh ch&#7881; &#273;&uacute;ng nh&#7845;t khi m&#7895;i c&aacute; nh&acirc;n hi&#7875;u &#273;&#432;&#7907;c ch&iacute;nh m&igrave;nh<h2>3/ H&#7885;c g&igrave; &ndash; &#272;&#7885;c g&igrave;?</h2>Hai kh&oacute;a h&#7885;c m&agrave; m&igrave;nh c&oacute; c&#417; h&#7897;i &#273;&#432;&#7907;c h&#7885;c t&#7841;i T&acirc;m L&yacute; H&#7891;n Vi&#7879;t (hi&#7879;n t&#7841;i T&acirc;m L&yacute; H&#7891;n Vi&#7879;t &#273;&atilde; &#273;&oacute;ng c&#7917;a r&#7891;i, c&aacute;c b&#7841;n ch&#7901; th&#7901;i gian t&#7899;i s&#7869; c&oacute; c&ocirc;ng ty m&#7899;i t&ecirc;n l&agrave; Vi&#7879;t An) &#273;&oacute; l&agrave; &ldquo;Th&#7845;u hi&#7875;u con &ndash; H&igrave;nh th&agrave;nh gi&aacute; tr&#7883; &amp; k&#7929; n&#259;ng s&#7889;ng&rdquo; v&agrave; Th&#7845;u hi&#7875;u ch&iacute;nh m&igrave;nh &ndash; &#272;&oacute;n nh&#7853;n &amp; ch&#7919;a l&agrave;nh qu&aacute; kh&#7913;. &#272;&acirc;y l&agrave; hai ch&#432;&#417;ng tr&igrave;nh h&#7885;c &#273;&atilde; thay &#273;&#7893;i r&#7845;t nhi&#7873;u c&aacute;ch m&igrave;nh t&#7921; nh&igrave;n v&agrave;o nh&#7919;ng v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; c&#7911;a b&#7843;n th&acirc;n, c&#361;ng nh&#432; c&aacute;ch m&igrave;nh &#273;i l&agrave;m c&ocirc;ng vi&#7879;c h&#432;&#7899;ng nghi&#7879;p cho ng&#432;&#7901;i kh&aacute;c. Tr&#432;&#7899;c &#273;&acirc;y khi t&#432; v&#7845;n h&#432;&#7899;ng nghi&#7879;p ho&#7863;c gi&#7843;ng d&#7841;y m&#7897;t l&#7899;p h&#432;&#7899;ng nghi&#7879;p, quan &#273;i&#7875;m c&#7911;a m&igrave;nh &#273;&oacute; l&agrave; c&#7913; &#273;&#432;a ra gi&#7843;i ph&aacute;p t&#7889;t, ng&#432;&#7901;i h&#7885;c khi l&#297;nh h&#7897;i &#273;&#432;&#7907;c gi&#7843;i ph&aacute;p s&#7869; t&#7921; kh&#7855;c thay &#273;&#7893;i. B&acirc;y gi&#7901; m&igrave;nh ti&#7871;p c&#7853;n v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; v&#7899;i c&aacute;ch kh&aacute;c. M&#7895;i m&#7897;t c&aacute; nh&acirc;n ch&uacute;ng ta l&#7899;n l&ecirc;n trong ho&agrave;n c&#7843;nh kh&aacute;c nhau, &#273;&#432;&#7907;c ba m&#7865; nu&ocirc;i d&#432;&#7905;ng kh&aacute;c nhau, m&ocirc;i tr&#432;&#7901;ng x&atilde; h&#7897;i xung quanh ch&uacute;ng ta c&#361;ng kh&aacute;c nhau &ndash; ch&iacute;nh v&igrave; v&#7853;y m&#7897;t gi&#7843;i ph&aacute;p c&oacute; th&#7875; &aacute;p d&#7909;ng t&#7889;t cho ng&#432;&#7901;i n&agrave;y, nh&#432;ng kh&ocirc;ng th&#7875; &aacute;p d&#7909;ng &#273;&#432;&#7907;c cho ng&#432;&#7901;i kia.V&#7873; s&aacute;ch d&#7841;y con, m&igrave;nh gi&#7899;i thi&#7879;u c&aacute;c b&#7841;n t&igrave;m hi&#7875;u b&#7897; &ldquo;D&#7841;y con trong hoang mang&rdquo; c&#7911;a TS. L&ecirc; Nguy&ecirc;n Ph&#432;&#417;ng v&agrave; cu&#7889;n &ldquo;Nu&ocirc;i d&#7841;y m&#7897;t &#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867; h&#7841;nh ph&uacute;c&rdquo; c&#7911;a hai t&aacute;c gi&#7843; Jessica Joel Alexander &amp; Iben Sandahl. &#272;&acirc;y l&agrave; hai cu&#7889;n s&aacute;ch m&agrave; m&igrave;nh r&#7845;t t&acirc;m &#273;&#7855;c, b&#7903;i n&oacute; &#273;i s&acirc;u v&agrave;o c&aacute;c ki&#7871;n th&#7913;c t&acirc;m l&yacute; k&#7871;t h&#7907;p v&#7899;i c&aacute;c v&iacute; d&#7909; &#7913;ng d&#7909;ng trong cu&#7897;c s&#7889;ng h&#7857;ng ng&agrave;y. Th&#7921;c s&#7921; &#7903; th&#7901;i &#273;i&#7875;m n&agrave;y, m&igrave;nh kh&ocirc;ng th&iacute;ch nh&#7919;ng cu&#7889;n s&aacute;ch &#273;&#432;a ra gi&#7843;i ph&aacute;p ph&#7843;i l&agrave;m c&aacute;i n&agrave;y l&agrave;m c&aacute;i kia, m&igrave;nh th&iacute;ch nh&#7919;ng &#273;&#7847;u s&aacute;ch b&agrave;n lu&#7853;n v&#7873; m&#7897;t v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; sau &#273;&oacute; &#273;&#432;a ra c&aacute;c gi&#7843;i ph&aacute;p tham kh&#7843;o thu&#7897;c nhi&#7873;u tr&#432;&#7901;ng ph&aacute;i kh&aacute;c nhau, vi&#7879;c ch&#7885;n gi&#7843;i ph&aacute;p n&agrave;o l&agrave; do ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&#7885;c ch&uacute;ng ta t&#7921; quy&#7871;t &#273;&#7883;nh.Ngo&agrave;i ra, cu&#7889;n s&aacute;ch &ldquo;Ch&#7919;a l&agrave;nh &#273;&#7913;a tr&#7867; b&ecirc;n trong b&#7841;n&rdquo; c&#361;ng l&agrave; m&#7897;t cu&#7889;n r&#7845;t hay, c&aacute;c b&#7841;n n&ecirc;n &#273;&#7885;c th&#7917;.

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