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Khủng Hoảng Tuổi 20+: Làm Gì Đây?

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Năm 2: Lùi bước về sau hay Tiến thêm một nấc?

<p>Nhi&#7873;u ng&#432;&#7901;i n&oacute;i r&#7857;ng, tr&ecirc;n th&#7871; gi&#7899;i n&agrave;y th&#7913; ph&#7913;c t&#7841;p nh&#7845;t kh&ocirc;ng ph&#7843;i nh&#7919;ng b&iacute; &#7849;n &#7903; th&#7871; gi&#7899;i xung quanh ta m&agrave; ch&iacute;nh l&agrave; th&#7871; gi&#7899;i t&acirc;m l&yacute; trong m&#7895;i con ng&#432;&#7901;i. Khi cu&#7897;c s&#7889;ng ng&agrave;y m&#7897;t ph&aacute;t tri&#7875;n th&igrave; nhu c&#7847;u kh&aacute;m ph&aacute; t&acirc;m l&yacute; h&#7885;c h&agrave;nh vi ng&agrave;y m&#7897;t t&#259;ng cao. V&#7853;y t&acirc;m l&yacute; h&#7885;c h&agrave;nh v&igrave; l&agrave; g&igrave;? Trong b&agrave;i vi&#7871;t n&agrave;y m&#7901;i b&#7841;n c&ugrave;ng t&igrave;m hi&#7875;u top 10 b&iacute; m&#7853;t v&agrave; th&#7911; thu&#7853;t v&#7873; t&acirc;m l&yacute; h&#7885;c con ng&#432;&#7901;i th&uacute; v&#7883; nh&#7845;t m&agrave; b&#7841;n c&#7847;n bi&#7871;t &#273;&#7875; c&oacute; th&#7875; hi&#7875;u r&otilde; t&acirc;m l&yacute; v&agrave; c&#7843;m x&uacute;c c&#7911;a ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&#7889;i di&#7879;n.<h3>T&acirc;m l&yacute; h&#7885;c h&agrave;nh vi l&agrave; g&igrave;?</h3><p>Thuy&#7871;t h&agrave;nh vi, hay c&ograve;n &#273;&#432;&#7907;c g&#7885;i l&agrave; T&acirc;m l&yacute; h&#7885;c h&agrave;nh vi, l&agrave; m&#7897;t h&#7885;c thuy&#7871;t v&#7873; h&#7885;c t&#7853;p d&#7921;a tr&ecirc;n quan ni&#7879;m: t&#7845;t c&#7843; c&aacute;c h&agrave;nh vi &#273;&#7873;u c&oacute; th&#7875; &#273;&#432;&#7907;c h&#7885;c th&ecirc;m c&oacute; &#273;i&#7873;u ki&#7879;n (&#273;i&#7873;u ki&#7879;n h&oacute;a). &#272;i&#7873;u ki&#7879;n h&oacute;a xu&#7845;t hi&#7879;n th&ocirc;ng qua c&aacute;c t&#432;&#417;ng t&aacute;c c&#7911;a &#273;&#7889;i t&#432;&#7907;ng v&#7899;i m&ocirc;i tr&#432;&#7901;ng.</p><p>C&aacute;c nh&agrave; t&acirc;m l&yacute; h&#7885;c h&agrave;nh vi tin r&#7857;ng ph&#7843;n &#7913;ng c&#7911;a con ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&#7889;i v&#7899;i k&iacute;ch th&iacute;ch t&#7915; m&ocirc;i tr&#432;&#7901;ng ch&iacute;nh l&agrave; c&aacute;i t&#7841;o n&ecirc;n h&agrave;nh vi. H&agrave;nh vi c&oacute; th&#7875; &#273;&#432;&#7907;c h&#7885;c t&#7853;p m&#7897;t c&aacute;ch c&oacute; h&#7879; th&#7889;ng v&agrave; &#273;&#432;&#7907;c quan s&aacute;t m&#7897;t c&aacute;ch r&otilde; r&agrave;ng t&#7915; b&ecirc;n ngo&agrave;i, kh&ocirc;ng &#273;i s&acirc;u v&agrave;o di&#7877;n bi&#7871;n t&acirc;m l&yacute; n&#7897;i t&acirc;m.</p><p>V&#7873; c&#417; b&#7843;n, ng&#432;&#7901;i ta ch&#7881; x&eacute;t &#273;&#7871;n nh&#7919;ng h&agrave;nh vi quan s&aacute;t &#273;&#432;&#7907;c &ndash; nh&#7919;ng th&#7913; nh&#432; nh&#7853;n th&#7913;c, c&#7843;m x&uacute;c v&agrave; t&acirc;m tr&#7841;ng, &#273;&#7873;u kh&oacute; &#273;&#432;&#7907;c xem x&eacute;t.</p><h3>Top 10 B&iacute; M&#7853;t T&acirc;m L&yacute; H&#7885;c H&agrave;nh Vi Th&uacute; V&#7883; Nh&#7845;t</h3><p>D&#432;&#7899;i &#273;&acirc;y l&agrave; 10 b&iacute; m&#7853;t v&agrave; th&#7911; thu&#7853;t t&acirc;m l&yacute; m&agrave; b&#7841;n n&ecirc;n bi&#7871;t &#273;&#7875; c&oacute; th&#7875; hi&#7875;u r&otilde; h&#417;n v&#7873; h&#7841;nh vi c&#7911;a nh&#7919;ng ng&#432;&#7901;i xung quanh b&#7841;n.</p><h4>01. Con ng&#432;&#7901;i c&oacute; xu h&#432;&#7899;ng th&iacute;ch k&#7875; v&#7873; b&#7843;n th&acirc;n</h4><p>&#272;&acirc;y kh&ocirc;ng ph&#7843;i l&agrave; m&#7897;t b&iacute; m&#7853;t g&igrave; m&#7899;i l&#7841;, nh&#432;ng t&ocirc;i ngh&#297; r&#7857;ng b&#7841;n n&ecirc;n bi&#7871;t r&#7857;ng &#273;&acirc;y l&agrave; m&#7897;t th&#7911; thu&#7853;t gi&uacute;p b&#7841;n th&agrave;nh c&ocirc;ng h&#417;n trong nhi&#7873;u t&igrave;nh hu&#7889;ng giao ti&#7871;p. &#272;&#7863;c bi&#7879;t h&#417;n khi b&#7841;n bi&#7871;t r&otilde; v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; n&agrave;y th&igrave; m&#7897;t l&#7847;n n&#7919;a s&#7869; chi&#7871;m &#273;&#432;&#7907;c nhi&#7873;u thi&#7879;n c&#7843;m h&#417;n trong m&#7855;t &#273;&#7889;i ph&#432;&#417;ng t&#7841;o ti&#7873;n &#273;&#7873; th&#259;ng ti&#7871;n v&#7873; m&#7885;i m&#7863;t.</p><p>T&#7841;i v&igrave; sao &#432;? &#272;&#417;n gi&#7843;n th&ocirc;i, v&igrave; b&#7841;n bi&#7871;t &#273;&#7889;i ph&#432;&#417;ng c&oacute; xu h&#432;&#7899;ng th&iacute;ch k&#7875; v&#7873; b&#7843;n th&acirc;n, v&igrave; v&#7853;y h&atilde;y &#273;&#7863;t nh&#7919;ng c&acirc;u h&#7887;i khi&#7871;n h&#7885; n&oacute;i v&#7873; b&#7843;n th&acirc;n h&#7885; nhi&#7873;u h&#417;n, t&#7915; &#273;&oacute; khai th&aacute;c &#273;&#432;&#7907;c nhi&#7873;u th&ocirc;ng tin b&#7841;n c&#7847;n.</p><p>Con ng&#432;&#7901;i th&#432;&#7901;ng n&oacute;i v&#7873; b&#7843;n th&acirc;n kho&#7843;ng 30 &ndash; 40% th&#7901;i gian. Con s&#7889; n&agrave;y r&#7845;t l&#7899;n. M&#7897;t nghi&ecirc;n c&#7913;u &#273;&atilde; ch&#7881; ra r&#7857;ng n&oacute;i v&#7873; b&#7843;n th&acirc;n c&oacute; m&#7889;i li&ecirc;n h&#7879; m&#7841;nh m&#7869; v&#7899;i s&#7921; gia t&#259;ng ho&#7841;t &#273;&#7897;ng trong h&#7879; th&#7889;ng dopamine mesolimbic c&#7911;a n&atilde;o, ph&#7847;n n&atilde;o tr&#7843;i nghi&#7879;m c&#7843;m gi&aacute;c th&iacute;ch th&uacute; nh&#432; &#273;&#7889;i v&#7899;i th&#7913;c &#259;n, t&igrave;nh d&#7909;c, v&agrave; ti&#7873;n b&#7841;c&hellip;</p><h4>02. Ai &#273;ang nh&igrave;n ch&#7857;m ch&#7857;m v&agrave;o b&#7841;n?</h4><p>B&#7841;n c&#7843;m th&#7845;y ai &#273;&oacute; &#273;ang nh&igrave;n m&igrave;nh? H&atilde;y ng&aacute;p v&agrave; nh&igrave;n xung quanh xem c&oacute; ai ng&aacute;p c&ugrave;ng b&#7841;n kh&ocirc;ng. B&#7903;i ng&aacute;p l&agrave; m&#7897;t h&agrave;nh vi r&#7845;t d&#7877; l&acirc;y lan, n&#7871;u ai &#273;&oacute; &#273;ang ch&#259;m ch&uacute; nh&igrave;n b&#7841;n th&igrave; khi b&#7841;n ng&aacute;p, kh&#7843; n&#259;ng r&#7845;t cao ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&oacute; c&#361;ng s&#7869; ng&aacute;p theo.</p><h4>03. B&#7841;n mu&#7889;n c&oacute; th&ecirc;m th&ocirc;ng tin t&#7915; ng&#432;&#7901;i &#273;&#7889;i di&#7879;n</h4><p>N&#7871;u c&acirc;u tr&#7843; l&#7901;i c&#7911;a m&#7897;t ai &#273;&oacute; khi&#7871;n b&#7841;n kh&ocirc;ng h&agrave;i l&ograve;ng b&#7903;i qu&aacute; &iacute;t th&ocirc;ng tin, ho&#7863;c b&#7841;n mu&#7889;n khai th&aacute;c th&ecirc;m th&ocirc;ng tin t&#7915; h&#7885;. &#272;&#7915;ng n&oacute;i g&igrave; c&#7843;, ch&#7881; c&#7847;n nh&igrave;n ch&#259;m ch&uacute; v&agrave;o h&#7885;, &#273;i&#7873;u n&agrave;y s&#7869; l&agrave;m &#273;&#7889;i ph&#432;&#417;ng c&#7843;m th&#7845;y l&uacute;ng t&uacute;ng v&agrave; s&#7869; ti&#7871;p t&#7909;c c&acirc;u tr&#7843; l&#7901;i.</p><h4>04. Ai l&agrave; ng&#432;&#7901;i th&iacute;ch b&#7841;n?</h4><p>Khi c&#7843; nh&oacute;m &#273;ang ph&aacute; l&ecirc;n c&#432;&#7901;i v&igrave; m&#7897;t c&acirc;u chuy&ecirc;n vui, c&acirc;u n&oacute;i &#273;&ugrave;a c&#7911;a ai &#273;&oacute; trong nh&oacute;m th&igrave; con ng&#432;&#7901;i s&#7869; c&oacute; xu h&#432;&#7899;ng nh&igrave;n v&#7873; ph&iacute;a ng&#432;&#7901;i m&agrave; h&#7885; y&ecirc;u th&iacute;ch nh&#7845;t.</p><p>B&acirc;y gi&#7901; th&igrave; b&#7841;n &#273;&atilde; bi&#7871;t b&#7841;n th&iacute;ch ai v&agrave; ai &#273;&oacute; c&oacute; th&iacute;ch b&#7841;n kh&ocirc;ng r&#7891;i &#273;&#7845;y!</p><h4>05. Hi&#7879;u &#7913;ng kh&#7903;i &#273;&#7847;u</h4><p>B&#7841;n &#273;&atilde; t&#7915;ng bao gi&#7901; &#273;&#7875; &yacute; nh&#7919;ng d&#7883;p &#273;&#7847;u n&#259;m m&#7899;i, hay d&#7883;p sinh nh&#7853;t, v&#7915;a b&#432;&#7899;c qua m&#7897;t tu&#7893;i m&#7899;i, giai &#273;o&#7841;n m&#7899;i th&igrave; t&acirc;m tr&#7841;ng c&#7911;a b&#7841;n th&#432;&#7901;ng vui v&#7867;, c&oacute; nhi&#7873;u &#273;&#7897;ng l&#7921;c h&#417;n trong h&#7885;c t&#7853;p v&agrave; c&ocirc;ng vi&#7879;c?</p><p>&#272;&acirc;y c&#361;ng ch&iacute;nh l&agrave; th&#7901;i &#273;i&#7875;m m&agrave; b&#7841;n s&#7869; th&#7845;y c&aacute;c chi&#7871;n d&#7883;ch qu&#7843;ng c&aacute;o, marketing tr&#7903; n&ecirc;n r&#7847;m r&#7897; h&#417;n v&agrave; nh&#7919;ng l&#7901;i k&ecirc;u g&#7885;i th&#432;&#7901;ng hi&#7879;u qu&#7843; h&#417;n? Nhu c&#7847;u mua h&agrave;ng c&#361;ng t&#259;ng cao.</p><p>B&#7903;i theo hi&#7879;u &#7913;ng kh&#7903;i &#273;&#7847;u (fresh-start effect) m&#7885;i ng&#432;&#7901;i c&oacute; nhi&#7873;u kh&#7843; n&#259;ng th&#7921;c hi&#7879;n h&agrave;nh &#273;&#7897;ng h&#432;&#7899;ng t&#7899;i m&#7909;c ti&ecirc;u sau c&aacute;c m&#7889;c th&#7901;i gian &#273;&#7841;i di&#7879;n cho s&#7921; kh&#7903;i &#273;&#7847;u m&#7899;i.</p><h4>06. Th&#7901;i &#273;i&#7875;m ghi nh&#7899; t&#7889;t nh&#7845;t</h4><p>M&#7897;t nghi&ecirc;n c&#7913;u ch&#7913;ng minh r&#7857;ng con ng&#432;&#7901;i c&oacute; kh&#7843; n&#259;ng ghi nh&#7899; t&#7889;t nh&#7845;t v&agrave;o &#273;&#7847;u ng&agrave;y v&agrave; cu&#7889;i ng&agrave;y. Ch&iacute;nh v&igrave; v&#7853;y m&agrave; c&aacute;c c&ocirc;ng ty, doanh nghi&#7879;p th&#432;&#7901;ng t&#7893; ch&#7913;c c&aacute;c cu&#7897;c h&#7885;p, h&#7897;i ngh&#7883; quan tr&#7885;ng v&agrave;o hai th&#7901;i &#273;i&#7875;m n&agrave;y.</p><h4>07. Mu&#7889;n ai &#273;&oacute; tin t&#432;&#7903;ng v&agrave; chia s&#7867; b&iacute; m&#7853;t</h4><p>B&#7841;n &#273;&atilde; t&#7915;ng nghe c&acirc;u &ldquo;c&oacute; qua c&oacute; l&#7841;i m&#7899;i to&#7841;i l&ograve;ng nhau&rdquo; r&#7891;i &#273;&uacute;ng kh&ocirc;ng? N&#7871;u b&#7841;n mu&#7889;n ai &#273;&oacute; k&#7875; cho b&#7841;n nghe m&#7897;t b&iacute; m&#7853;t v&#7873; h&#7885; th&igrave; bu&#7897;c b&#7841;n ph&#7843;i chia s&#7867; b&iacute; m&#7853;t c&#7911;a b&#7841;n tr&#432;&#7899;c.</p><p>&#272;i&#7873;u n&agrave;y kh&ocirc;ng ch&#7881; t&#7841;o c&#7843;m gi&aacute;c r&#7857;ng b&#7841;n tin t&#432;&#7903;ng &#273;&#7889;i ph&#432;&#417;ng, t&#7915; &#273;&oacute; sinh ra c&#7843;m gi&aacute;c mu&#7889;n th&acirc;n thi&#7871;t h&#417;n v&#7899;i b&#7841;n v&agrave; c&#7847;n ph&#7843;i &#273;&aacute;p l&#7841;i l&ograve;ng tin &#273;&oacute; b&#7857;ng c&aacute;ch n&oacute;i ra nh&#7919;ng g&igrave; ri&ecirc;ng t&#432; v&agrave; b&iacute; m&#7853;t c&#7911;a h&#7885;.</p><p>&#272;&acirc;y c&#361;ng l&agrave; m&#7897;t ph&#432;&#417;ng ph&aacute;p gi&uacute;p m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; c&#7911;a 2 b&#7841;n tr&#7903; n&ecirc;n th&acirc;n thi&#7871;t v&agrave; b&#7873;n v&#7919;ng h&#417;n.</p><h4>08. H&atilde;y nh&#7901; s&#7921; gi&uacute;p &#273;&#7905; c&#7911;a ng&#432;&#7901;i b&#7841;n mu&#7889;n k&#7871;t giao</h4><p>N&oacute;i &#273;&#7871;n th&#7911; thu&#7853;t t&acirc;m l&yacute; h&#7885;c n&agrave;y th&igrave; t&ocirc;i xin k&#7875; cho b&#7841;n m&#7897;t c&acirc;u chuy&#7879;n ng&#7855;n bi&#7871;n th&ugrave; th&agrave;nh b&#7841;n c&#7911;a Benjamin Franklin.</p><p>Franklin v&#7889;n c&oacute; m&#7897;t &#273;&#7889;i th&#7911; trong h&#7897;i &#273;&#7891;ng l&#7853;p ph&aacute;p. C&#7843; hai tuy kh&ocirc;ng ti&#7871;p x&uacute;c nhi&#7873;u nh&#432;ng c&#361;ng ch&#7859;ng th&acirc;n thi&#7879;n m&#7845;y. M&#7897;t d&#7883;p nghe tin th&#432; vi&#7879;n ng&#432;&#7901;i kia c&oacute; quy&#7875;n s&aacute;ch qu&yacute;, Franklin &#273;&atilde; ngh&#297; ra c&aacute;ch &#273;&#7875; c&#7843;i bi&#7871;n m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; hai ng&#432;&#7901;i v&agrave; nh&#7901; &#273;&oacute; k&#7871;t giao m&#7897;t ng&#432;&#7901;i b&#7841;n t&#7889;t tr&#7885;n &#273;&#7901;i.</p><p>C&#7909; th&#7875;, &ocirc;ng &#273;&atilde; vi&#7871;t m&#7897;t b&#7913;c th&#432; b&agrave;y t&#7887; tha thi&#7871;t mu&#7889;n m&#432;&#7907;n t&#7841;m quy&#7875;n s&aacute;ch qu&yacute; hi&#7871;m c&#7911;a ng&#432;&#7901;i kia v&agrave; &#273;&#432;&#7907;c &#273;&#7889;i ph&#432;&#417;ng &#273;&aacute;p &#7913;ng. M&#7897;t tu&#7847;n sau khi tr&#7843; s&aacute;ch, &ocirc;ng &#273;&atilde; g&#7917;i k&egrave;m nh&#7919;ng l&#7901;i nh&#7855;n bi&#7875;u l&#7897; c&#7843;m gi&aacute;c vui s&#432;&#7899;ng khi &#273;&#432;&#7907;c &#273;&#7885;c c&ugrave;ng l&ograve;ng c&#7843;m k&iacute;ch ch&acirc;n th&agrave;nh &#273;&#7871;n ng&#432;&#7901;i cho m&#432;&#7907;n. K&#7871;t qu&#7843;, &ldquo;g&atilde; &#273;&aacute;ng gh&eacute;t&rdquo; &#7845;y &#273;&atilde; ch&#7911; &#273;&#7897;ng b&#7855;t chuy&#7879;n v&#7899;i Franklin v&agrave; m&#7889;i quan h&#7879; b&#7841;n b&egrave; n&#7843;y n&#7903; t&#7915; &#273;&oacute;.<br>T&#7915; &#273;&oacute; c&oacute; th&#7875; th&#7845;y &#273;&#7875; ph&aacute; v&#7905; h&agrave;ng r&agrave;o ng&#259;n c&aacute;ch gi&#7919;a hai ng&#432;&#7901;i th&igrave; h&atilde;y l&agrave;m phi&#7873;n hay n&oacute;i &#273;&uacute;ng c&aacute;ch l&agrave; nh&#7901; v&#7843; &#273;&#7889;i ph&#432;&#417;ng l&agrave;m m&#7897;t vi&#7879;c g&igrave; &#273;&oacute; gi&uacute;p b&#7841;n. T&#7845;t nhi&ecirc;n &#273;i&#7873;u c&#7847;n nh&#7901; v&#7843; l&agrave; kh&ocirc;ng &#273;&#432;&#7907;c ph&eacute;p qu&aacute; kh&oacute; kh&#259;n.</p><p>&#272;&#7875; hi&#7875;u r&otilde; h&#417;n v&#7873; v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; n&agrave;y b&#7841;n c&oacute; th&#7875; t&igrave;m hi&#7875;u v&#7873; hi&#7879;u &#7913;ng t&acirc;m l&yacute; h&#7885;c g&#7885;i l&agrave; b&#7845;t h&ograve;a v&#7873; nh&#7853;n th&#7913;c &ndash; Cognitive dissonance.</p><h4>09. B&#7841;n ph&acirc;n v&acirc;n khi l&#7921;a ch&#7885;n mua m&#7897;t m&oacute;n &#273;&#7891;</h4><p>C&oacute; l&#7869; vi&#7879;c ph&acirc;n v&acirc;n khi l&#7921;a ch&#7885;n mua m&#7897;t m&oacute;n h&agrave;ng n&agrave;o &#273;&oacute; kh&ocirc;ng ph&#7843;i l&agrave; v&#7845;n &#273;&#7873; c&#7911;a ri&ecirc;ng ai. V&#7853;y l&agrave;m sao &#273;&#7875; c&oacute; th&#7875; &#273;&#432;a ra m&#7897;t l&#7921;a ch&#7885;n ch&iacute;nh x&aacute;c nh&#7845;t?</p><p>&#272;&#417;n gi&#7843;n th&ocirc;i, h&atilde;y t&#432;&#7903;ng t&#432;&#7907;ng r&#7857;ng tay tr&aacute;i b&#7841;n c&#7847;m m&oacute;n h&agrave;ng &#273;&oacute; v&agrave; tay ph&#7843;i l&agrave; s&#7889; ti&#7873;n t&#432;&#417;ng &#7913;ng b&#7841;n c&#7847;n &#273;&#7875; mua h&agrave;ng. B&acirc;y gi&#7901; b&#7841;n h&atilde;y &#273;&aacute;nh gi&aacute; xem b&ecirc;n n&agrave;o quan tr&#7885;ng v&agrave; s&#7869; l&#7921;a ch&#7885;n b&ecirc;n n&agrave;o?</p><p>N&#7871;u b&#7841;n ch&#7885;n tay tr&aacute;i th&igrave; h&atilde;y mua m&oacute;n h&agrave;ng &#273;&oacute; c&ograve;n n&#7871;u b&#7841;n ch&#7885;n tay ph&#7843;i th&igrave; h&atilde;y t&#7915; b&#7887; th&ocirc;i, &#273;&#7915;ng do d&#7921; n&#7919;a.</p><h4>10. L&#7901;i khuy&ecirc;n c&#7911;a cha t&ocirc;i</h4><p>N&#7871;u b&#7841;n mu&#7889;n cho ai &#273;&oacute; m&#7897;t l&#7901;i khuy&ecirc;n v&agrave; kh&ocirc;ng mu&#7889;n nh&#7853;n v&#7873; s&#7921; nghi ng&#7901; v&agrave; ph&aacute;n x&eacute;t c&#7911;a ng&#432;&#7901;i nghe th&igrave; h&atilde;y th&ecirc;m v&agrave;o c&#7909;m t&#7915;: &ldquo;cha t&ocirc;i t&#7915;ng n&oacute;i l&agrave; &hellip;&rdquo;, &ldquo;cha t&ocirc;i t&#7915;ng khuy&ecirc;n t&ocirc;i r&#7857;ng&hellip;&rdquo;</p><p>Ngu&#7891;n: List S&aacute;ch</p></p>


Hung Dang

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